Rosemary And Thyme

Episode #4 – Replete With Golden Wings

(Time passes … scene change music)

Scene 1a

Thyme

Josiah. Josiah! I’m here to tell ya’ the whole truth … an’ nothin’ but the truth! My story goes like this …

Gabriel

OK. We’ll spare y’all the details since ya’ already heard it all. I can only add to the scene this: that Josiah sat very still an’ listened most polite-like an’ like the gentleman that he is, let her finish her tale of woe.

(Time passes … music)

Thyme

(coming to the end of her story)

… an’ so, my sweet Josiah, thank you for listening. That’s the whole truth … an’ nothing but. I’m pregnant with God’s Child. I’ve been selected. An’ you have been too. You too are chosen by God. I know this comes as shocking news, but I know that you, of all people, will understand.

Josiah

Put your hand in mine, darlin’. I do understand, Thyme. And I want you to know that I’ll be doing everything I can to support you through all this. I love you and I promise to take care of you always.

Thyme

Oh, thank you, Josiah … I jus’ knew you’d understand.

Josiah

First off, I’d like you to meet and speak to a wonderful man I’ve found for Gabe, an’ now you too! He’s a kind of a doctor and he’s from a most reputable institution …

Thyme

What? I …

Josiah

Yes, darlin’. It’s a lovely place … the Skagmore Sanitorium over in Cleveland. I just want you to have a talk with the man. I’m not in any way sayin’ you have to go live there … no, no … just meet with the man and just have a little talk.

Thyme

You don’t believe me, do you.

Josiah

Oh, sure I do, honey. I talk to God all the time, an’ he does talk back to me too. It’s just that …

Thyme

You don’t believe me. You think I’m crazy.

Josiah

Well, darlin’ girl, you did say yourself that this is quite some story. An’ you were right about that. It’s an amazing story, actually. But … Thyme, darlin’, you don’t actually believe that anyone is gonna buy into this. Do you? Leastwise me.

Thyme (quietly, but forcefully)

You are a minister of God. I am presently with God’s child. Gabe is Gabriel the angel of God sent from Heaven as God’s messenger. An’ you too are the recipient of God’s favor.

Josiah

And you are pregnant, Thyme. Sadly, that’s the one thing in this whole story that is possibly true, I ain’t even gonna ask you who did it to you, but you can bet we’re gonna take care of that too. Now, before the whole damn town finds out about this, we need to take a little trip to Cleveland.

Thyme

Josiah, I will do nothing of the sort. Doncha see? We gotta get married now. You gotta help me … so people don’t think I’m some sorta tramp. This can be your baby too.

Josiah

If you are with child, Thyme, then you, in fact, are … damaged property, and, you see, not actually fit to be married to a minister. Doncha see? That will hurt my ministry. What would that do to my reputation?

Thyme

What reputation?

Josiah

Why, my world-wide reputation …

Thyme

You mean among 139 people? What about my reputation?

Josiah

Well, doncha see, you’ve gone an’ spoiled that!

Thyme

Josiah Washburn, I have had a message from God. I know this to be true in the essence of my soul. I believe I am chosen to serve God in this capacity. And you will be my husband and the earthly father to his son.

Josiah

Right at this moment … an’ goin’ forward, Thyme, I ain’t gonna be husband to no one. Now we’re just gonna call this wedding off for a minute here an’ see if we can get things sorted out.

Thyme

Oh no, Josiah, please, don’t do that to me. I know this is God’s wish. (She begins to cry) I just know it … don’t ask me how … oh, Josiah, please don’t do this. I ain’t never been with a man. It’s only you I’ve ever loved. (Music) Please Josiah … Please believe me … Oh Josiah, don’t go …please. Please don’t go.

Scene 1b

Please Don’t Let Me Go

Thyme

Please
Don’t go
You said you loved me
No one’s ever said those words to me
You got down on one knee
An’ promised me the future
When no one’s ever promised me much ‘a nothin’
You said you’d love me
More an’ more each day, you said ya’ would
An’ ya’ swore your feelings for me
Would never in our lives stop growing
An’ we could fill our lives
Until our cup was overflowing (So you said …)
But now that cup lies empty on the ground
You’ve gone an’ turned my world upside down

No one’s ever broke my heart so
I guess I’m jus’ a simple girl in calico
Who growed up
To find herself
Ridin’ on a rainbow
Holdin’ on for dear life …
Holdin’ on for tomorrow

And all I know
Is I have loved you so
So please don’t let me go
Please, please
Please don’t let me go
Please, please
Please

Scene 2

(Time passes … scene change music)

Gabriel

(talks to God)

God! It’s me, Gabe .. uh, Gabriel.

God (V.O.)

Yes, Gabriel.

Gabriel

Ok, we got one down, one to go.

God

Uh huh. Good.

Gabriel

Yeah, good, but the next one ain’t gonna be easy. I gotta have a plan, an’ a good one.

God

Uh huh. Good.

Gabriel

You’d think a minister would be easy, but Josiah, … well, I donno …

God

Whatever it takes, Gabriel. Whatever it takes.

Gabriel

OK, but I might have to go all the way on this one. You OK with that?

God

Uh huh. Good. Whatever it takes …

Gabriel

Wish me luck.

God

No, Gabriel. No such thing as luck. You know better than that. If I say it, so it is.

Gabriel

Right. Right … right …

Scene 3a

(Time passes … scene change music)

Gabriel

So this here next scene begins far too similar to the earlier scene in which I made my approach ta’ Thyme. In one case the subject of most importance was the shellin’ a’ peas. In this moment it was the sawin’ of a log.

(We hear the sawing of a log.)

Gabe

(Ahem) ‘scuse me, Mr. Washburn …

Josiah

Yes, Gabe …? (We hear him continue to saw.). (We wait.)

Gabe

Well, Josiah, are you going to stand there sawin’ that thing forever with your back to me?

Josiah

… maybe.

Gabe

Are ya’ mad at me?

Josiah

You damned straight I am! I can’t believe that you had the nerve to come to me with the same crap you told Thyme. She is truly naïve … and most likely will believe your ridiculous rantings.

Gabe

It is the truth, Josiah. Thyme is gonna have a baby, and she is three months along.

Josiah

Oh shut the hell up, you ol’ drunk. She told me she was … she swore to me she was a virgin. And she does not lie, … unlike you!

Gabe

No, she don’t. She is a virgin.

Josiah

How would you know? Gabe, virgins don’t have babies except for Mother Mary, and Thyme is not the virgin Mary. You do know, don’t you, that I am a Minister of the Gospel, and I preach this every friggin’ year.

Gabe

I do. I have heard a number a’ yer sermons. You can’t turn ‘round an’ look at me? (An’ so he did.)

Josiah

Then shut up about virgin births, for God’s sake.

Gabe

It’s for God’s sake that I am telling you that Thyme is gonna have a baby.

Josiah

Listen, Dufus, the Savior has already been born, suffered, died and was resurrected. IT-HAS- ALREADY- HAPPENED.

Gabe

I know, and your Savior is coming back.

Josiah

Oh, come on! You think I don’t know that … believe that … preach that?

Gabe

What do you preach?

Josiah

(defensively)

I preach about the second coming.

Gabe

Really? I thought you preached about the wrath a’ God, the Whore of Babylon, multiple headed beasts, dragons, Armageddon. And just where does Jesus fit into this horror you bring us every Sunday? He arrives in a suit a’ armor riding on a white stallion with a sword coming outta his mouth killin’ his enemies by the thousands. Zat what ya’ preach?

Gabriel

He jus’ looked at me for a moment tryin’ ta’ collect his thoughts, then tried ta’ weasel out.

Josiah

Well, that’s what the book says — in Revelation, Chapters 1-20.

Gabe (The Preacher)

The book? Written by who knows who? Now Jesus Christ! Remember him? The Prince a’ Peace? The healer, the one who made the blind ta’ see, the deaf ta’ hear, the lame ta’ walk? The one who said ta’ love yer enemies? The one who said, “If someone strikes ya’ on one cheek, turn ta’ him t’other? He’s gonna kill his enemies instead of lovin’ them?” Yeah, I can jus’ see it. Suddenly, he comes back and says, “April fool, ever’body. I didn’t mean what I told ya’. That was just a lotta B.S.” A sword comin’ outta his mouth? Good Lord, Josiah! Git a grip …

Josiah

You should have been a preacher, Gabe. But I don’t need to get a grip. You do! Thyme is not birthing Jesus! Period!

Gabe

Did I say it was Jesus? She is having God’s child. Another one. Another incarnation. In six months. Period!

Josiah

You, my friend, are nutty as a fruitcake.

Gabe

You don’t believe me?

Josiah

Absolutely not!

Gabe

No way?

Josiah

No how! Do you have any idea how this kind a’ thing would hurt ma’ ministry? People would say that I knocked her up.

Gabe

You think I am lyin’?

Josiah

I think you are de-lusional… crazy!

Gabe

Crazy? OK, that is about it fer me. You wanna see crazy? I’ll show ya’ something REAL crazy!

(An unearthly voice comes up from the bowels of the earth. The timpani roar. The orchestra joins in and builds and builds. A Choir Of Angels joins him, answering him.)

I Am Gabriel

Gabe

I am Gabriel

I am Gabriel
And I serve the Most High,
The Most High
Yes I am the Messenger of God!
The Messenger of God

(As Gabe theatrically and elegantly sings this. He magically transforms.)

Gabriel

And before him did I transform
Into the Truth of myself
Into the angel of Gabriel
Of angelic proportion
Replete with golden wings
Replete with golden wings
With flowing robes of silver
Controller of the winds of the Earth
Controller of the waves of the sea

Gabe

I am Gabriel

Angels

It is Gabriel
It is Gabriel

All

Gabriel!

(The moment exits as quickly as it entered. Only the echoes of the presentation remain and then drift away.)

Scene 3b

Gabe

(now like a junkyard preacher)

Josiah … Josiah … Josiah! Didja see me unfold ma’ golden wings? Didja hear the Heavenly Host? Didja feel the Spirit a’ the Lord come upon ya’ as I transformed before yer very eyes? Didja not sense me holdin’ back the four winds a’ the Earth? Was that not just the coolest thing ya’ ever seen in your whole life? Did ya’ witness the metamorphosis of Man to Mighty Angel and back again to Man? (Pause) Well, speak up, boy! I don’t git much chance to be showin’ ma’ stuff very often an’ it damn near wears me out! (Pause) Speak up, Josiah! Don’t jus’ be grovelin’ an’ kneelin’ down there in the dirt. Say somethin’!

Josiah

Oh my … oh my … oh my … Oh my God Almighty … I … i … forgive me … please forgive me, Lord … forgive my disbelief.

Gabe

I’m not your God Almighty, Josiah. I am Gabriel. Just the messenger of God.

Josiah

I … I … I … Well, I … well, … I … I … I … I don’t … I … I … I …

Gabe

Josiah, you’re stutterin’ like a fool. Stand up fer God’s sake. You’re embarrassin’ me.

(A thoroughly transformed and humbled Josiah stands wearily up.)

Josiah

I … I … I … Well, I … well, … I …

Gabe

An’ quit your stutterin’! I gotta finish this! (Josiah humbly goes quiet and becomes totally obsequious.) There, that’s better. Now listen up. I’ll make this short. Music please, Maestro. Music Oh, that’s real nice …

When All Is Said And Done

Gabriel

Ya’ gotta whole lotta years
Ahead of you my friend
And a lifetime to leave
Your mark upon this world
An’ right now
Whether you know it or not
Ya’ stand upon the threshold
The turning point
Of all your years ahead
Yes you’ve gotta whole lotta years
Ahead of you my friend
An’ right now you’ll make the choice
Of how you are remembered
So right now you must decide
Just what kinda man you are

When all is said and done
Just what will it all have come to
When you stand upon your self-made mountain
And no one seems to care
And there’s nobody there
To shout your name
When all is said and done
When your next life has begun
Might you have better served your son
When all is said and done

When all is said and done

Ya’ gotta whole lotta years
Ahead of you my friend

Scene 3c

(Now Gabriel once again becomes Gabe.)

There now, that weren’t so bad, Was it?

Josiah

I … Well … I … What … What do I call you now? Gabe or Gabriel?

Gabe

You can still call me Gabe. That’ll do just fine.

Josiah

Did … did .. you just actually do that?

Gabe

Yes, my friend, I did jus’ actually do that. The whole megillah!

Josiah

(begins to cry)

This is all just a bit confusing, Gabe. I’m sorry, but, well I … I just need a little time here. (Takes out his handkerchief and blows his nose thoroughly)

This is way more than I could’ve ever imagined. Gabe? Gabriel? What do I do now?

Gabe

Let’s just take it one step at a time, Josiah. One step at a time …

Josiah

(still weeping)

OK, sir. I hear ya’. One step at a time.

Scene 4

(Time passes … scene change music)

Dr. Alfredo Encarnacion

Bolivia holds an important share of the world’s rainforest — the 13th largest national area in the world. 37.7 % of the Amazon Forest. At least that was yesterday. Today, who knows? I am here to stop the rape of our land. It is my sole purpose in life. Every day I fail. Every day. Every day the forest dies before me. I am just one man. What can I do? Save this tender sapling in my hand whose roots are no more? I fear we are doomed to extinction, little friend. (back to audience) I am Dr. Alfredo Encarnacion, Bolivia’s foremost environmental biologist, Bolivia’s foremost fraud. I lead the battle, all the while knowing we have already lost the war. The forest is dying, and when it does, so shall we.

Scene 5

Gabriel

(Discombobulated)

Weird! Uuhhh, sorry for that, folks … I have no earthly idea what that was all ‘bout. Perhaps jus’ a glitch in the cosmos. I’ve seen stranger things.

So anyway, … uuhh, let’s jus’ … git on with our story. Josiah now havin’ been wised up by yours truly an’ taken down a peg or two, realizes that he has some fixin’ to do with his bride to be..

(scene change music)

Scene 6

Josiah

Thyme, I am humbled. I come to you to apologize. I am just a lowly carpenter. I do not even own a ‘lectric saw. I cannot face my church congregation on Sunday. I can no longer stand in the pulpit. I do not understand the w-w-world around me. I am lost.

Thyme

Oh no, Josiah, no …you …

Josiah

No, Thyme, no … I have committed a sin against faith. I am sorry. W-w-what has happened here is far beyond me. I do not deserve you. I am sorry.

Thyme

Josiah, Sweetheart, now slow down an’ try ta’ speak more simple like. You can do this.

Josiah

I donno w-why it happens. W-w-when I see w-w-wone comin’ I jus’ kinda tighten up w-w-when I get there. See w-what I mean? It don’t make no sense ta’ me w-w-why.

Thyme

Well then it jus’ don’t hafta be now, does it? After all you are a minister. Ya’ don’t seem ta’ do it when ya’ speak from the pulpit or when you’re singin’ songs neither.

Josiah

No I ‘spose not. I guess it’s jus’ w-when I git rattled.

Thyme

Josiah … you have met Gabriel. Haven’t you?

Josiah

Yes, I have.

Thyme

I too, doubted at first. The responsibility was so monumental that I too could not see myself playing the part. It was too great a role … and I, simply too small Thyme. But Josiah, we have no choice. Our life now going forward is not ours to choose … We have already been chosen.

Josiah

But I am not w-worthy.

Thyme

That’s just not yours to decide. It was God’s decision. You are to be the child’s earthly father. And Josiah, I know you. You are man for it.

Josiah

But I lost my faith.

Thyme

No. You did not! You jus’ did not understand. Who would ever have believed that Gabe is Gabriel? But now you know. Now you have understanding. If you have understanding, you don’t need faith. We must face the fact that our lives have changed forever. It is, as if, we have stepped into another universe, another dimension. You’ve always wanted to dedicate your life to God? Well now, here’s your chance — big time.

Josiah

I love you, Thyme.

Thyme

I love you, Josiah.

Josiah

W-what do we do now?

Thyme

We marry. And steel ourselves, together, for what is surely to come.

Josiah

All right. If you w-will have me.

Thyme

I will have you, Josiah. To have and to hold. And will you have me?

Josiah

I will have you, Thyme. For better or for worse. Though I hope we can avoid the w-worse.

Thyme

Yes, (she smiles facetiously) but what could possibly go wrong?

Josiah

Yes. God hast ordained. What could possibly go wrong? It appears that we shall raise us another Christ.