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Jus’ What Do You Think ‘Bout That / Ride ‘Em Outta Town On A Rail

Download: $2.49

Artist:
Carolee Goodgold
,
Jan Horvath
,
Patrick Jude
,
Patrick Ryan Sullivan
,
Emily Bindiger
Composer:
Peter Link
Lyricist:
Peter Link
,
Ragan Courtney

This is the first song from Rosemary And Thyme #6 - Lizzie Done It.

Lyrics

Jus’ What Do You Think ‘Bout That / Ride ‘Em Outta Town on a Rail
Music by Peter Link
Words by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney

Martha
Martha here.

Abigail
Hi Martha. Now where was I?

Martha
Oh, hi Abigail. You was tellin’ me ‘bout the latest scuttlebutt regardin’ our Preacher man an’ that little checkout girl over at the grocery.

Abigail (sings)
That’s right, Martha,
Lizzie says Thyme has jus’ gone crazy
Whatcha think ‘bout that?

Martha
Well, it’s Shocking!
Abigail
Uh huh

Martha
Tell me more!

Abigail
Well, yeah!
An’ she’s worried to death ‘bout her mental stability
Now doncha tell no one, you hear?

Martha
Mum’s the word.

This kinda thing can jus’ spread
Across this town like a wildfire
That’s right!
An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness what we’re at
So, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

Martha
Good lord …well I ain’t never …

Abigail
Now Martha, ya’ better keep this information to yourself!

Martha
Well now, jus’ who am I gonna be tellin’?

(We hear the familiar beep beep of them both hanging up. We then hear Martha dialing the number for Dorothy and then hear another ring of a cell phone. Dorothy answers.)

Dorothy
Zat you, Martha? Sure took you long enough to git back to me. I been jus’ settin’ here waitin’ breathless at what’s goin’ on in our OTHERWISE peaceful little town.

Martha (sings)
That’s right, Dorothy,
Abigail says Thyme has jus’ gone loony
Whatcha think ‘bout that?

Dorothy (Gasp!)
(disgusted)
Disgraceful!

Martha
Uh huh

Dorothy
(Now suddenly thrilled at the thought, titillated)
Perfectly scandalous!

Martha
An’ she’s petrified to death ‘bout her slip slidin’ sanity
Now doncha tell no one, you hear?

Dorothy
Of course not!

This kinda rumor can spread around town
An’ before ya’ know we’re talkin’ tragedy

Dorothy
(Still titillated and licking her lips)
It’s just shameful!

An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness what we’re at

Dorothy
That’s right. Ain’t nobody’s business!

Now, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

Dorothy
Well, I don’t even wanna begin to think ‘bout that! That kinda thing is nobody’s business an’ needs to be washed up under the table. Mum’s the word!

(We hear Dorothy dialing the number for Rufus and then hear another familiar ring of a cell phone. Rufus answers.)

Rufus.
Rufus!

Dorothy
Rufus! You ain’t gonna believe this. This town’s sinkin’ down the mine shaft on its way ta’ Hell. We got here the scandal of the century!

Rufus
I believe it. I believe it, Dorothy!

Dorothy (sings)
Well, That’s right, Rufus,
Martha says Thyme has now gone psycho
Whatcha think ‘bout that?
Uh huh

Rufus
I’ze jus’ horrified!

An’ they’re puttin’ her away with the rest a’ them nuts
In the nut house
Now doncha tell no one, you hear?
These kinda a facts can drive a whole town
To the unsound mind a’ the maniacal

Rufus
Oh, our poor little town …

Dorothy
An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness where we’re at
Now, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

Rufus
An’ what’s this I hear about Thyme bein’ pregnant?

Dorothy
Oh my Lord, what’s next? I think we all better git on down to Abigail’s Grocerette an’ git this nasty business sorted out!

Rufus
I jus’ heard the whole town’s gatherin’ down in front a’ Jake’s Hardware!

Dorothy
Let’s us jus’ mosey on down there an’ continue this scintillatin’ conversation.

(We hear the gathering of an incensed crowd in front of Jake’s Hardware.)

Abigail (also arrives and sings)
An’ what’s this I hear about our minister?

Rufus
An’ don’t tell no one,
But there’s a rumor goin’ ‘round All Women – Ooooh
That the baby may not be by Josiah!

Martha
Well, I heard whispered
That the baby’s just a figment of her wild imagination!

Dorothy
An’ she claims to be a virgin, still!

Martha
(Gasp!)

Abigail
Well, Lordee me,
That’s one for the ages ain’t it

Rufus
Who’s she think she is? (spoken) Mother Mary?

(They all break up laughing.)

Martha
Well, I heard Thyme’s gone
An’ up an’ told her ol’ friend Lizzie
That she’s carryin’ the child a’ God!

Dorothy
Well, ain’t we all God’s Children?

All
Uh huh, yeah yeah Every one of us Every one of us

Abigail
But this one, she claims, is somethin’ special

All
Somethin’ special

Rufus
An’ what’s this I hear about Josiah sayin’ nothin’
An’ actin’ like he hidin’ ‘hind that wife a’ his?

All
Oooooh

Dorothy
Yeah, I don’t go to church no more

Rufus
Oh mercy me, mercy me.

Dorothy
Cuz there’s somethin’ not quite right up in there.

Martha
These folks actin’ kinda uppity.

Abigail
Hidin’ somethin’

Rufus
Sayin’ nothin’

Dorothy
Just who do they think they are?

Martha
Lizzie … Lizzie! Have ya’ heard? The whole town’s in an uproar!

Lizzie
What the hell is goin’ on here?

Abigail
It’s our very own Minister an’ that hussy of a checkout girl!

Lizzie
You people need to mind your own business an’ git on home!

Rufus
Now I heard tell that old ma of hers is crazy
An’ Thyme’s jus’ prob’ly caught what she got.

All
Uh humms

Abigail
Yeah I heard that too, but even worse I heard
That Thyme thinks she’s birthin’ up
A new Christ Child!

(The Entire Crowd)
(Gasp!)

Rufus
Well, that’s blasphemy!

Dorothy
That’s outrageous!

Martha
That’s a heresy, by God!!!

(Now appears out of the crowd, The Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed.)

Bishop Goodspeed
That’s a sacrilege against the church, good people!

(Gasp!) (Rufus)
Rufus
Why it’s Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed!

Abigail
Jus’ what you doin’ here?
Bishop Goodspeed
I’ve come to save this holy place
From the Washburn’s transgressions ‘gainst the Lord!

All
(Gasp!)
Dorothy
Yes. It’s a violation of the Holy Book!

Bishop Goodspeed
A defiance of the word of God!

Rufus, Martha, Abigail
It’s a sin, It’s a sin, It’s A Sin!!

Bishop Goodspeed
It’s a sin against the good name of Skedee!

All
It’s a sin, It’s a sin, It’s A Sin!!

All
(Gasp!) (Gasp!)
Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?
Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?
Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?

(Direct segue)

Ride ‘Em Outta Town On A Rail

Bishop Goodspeed
So, listen up,good people
It’s time to let the truth prevail

All
In this we must not fail

Bishop Goodspeed
I beseech you, every man, woman an’ … f-f-f female

All
Oh yes the time has come

Bishop Goodspeed
An’ now we must become the law of our lands
An’ take this matter into our own hands

Abigail
Throw ‘em in jail!

Rufus
No! That ain’t good enough!! Ride ‘em outta town on a rail!

All
Yeah!!!

Bishop Goodspeed
There! Now ya’ have it! The Lord is speakin’ through ya’, sir! Why, I too can hear him like he’s standin’ right here next to me sayin’ … (sings)

Ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Don’t need to throw ‘em in jail
Don’t need to nail ‘em up or hang ‘em up
Jus’ shut ‘em up for good
Yeah, let’s ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Then, my friends, we’ll be done with ‘em

We shall rid the great name of Skedee
Of the Devil’s own
Rain down fire an’ brimstone on ‘em
An’ strip ‘em on down ta’ the bone
Then tar an’ feather ‘em
An’ say farewell
Give no mercy, but give ‘em Hell
An’ send ‘em off to the great unknown

Bishop Goodspeed
C’mon people, let’s …

All
Ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Goodbye Thyme we’ve had enough a’ you
Don’t need to nail ‘em up or hang ‘em up
Jus’ shut ‘em up for good Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah, let’s ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Goodbye Thyme an’ the rest a’ you

Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Goodbye Thyme we’ve had enough a’ you
Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail
Goodbye Thyme an’ the rest a’ you

Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail!
Ride ‘em outta town on a rail

Martha
Let’s go get ‘em!

All
Yeeeeeeaaaaaah!!!