Havin’ A Talk With God
Episode #32 – Omniscient
Thyme
Hey!
God
Hey back.
Thyme
Gotta moment?
God
I got lots of ‘em.
Thyme
Well, it’s me, Thyme.
God
I know.
Thyme
(with a chip on her shoulder)
An’ jus’ how is it that you always know?
God
I know everything. I’m omniscient.
Thyme
Well, yeah, so you say. But define “everything”.
God
Every. Thing.
Thyme
You mean every tiny, little, teensy, microscopic … infinitesimal, itsy-bitsy thing?
God
Yup.
Thyme
Wow. That’s kinda hard ta’ believe.
God
Try me.
Thyme
OK, if ya’ know everything, what am I thinkin’ right now?
God
You’re not thinkin’ anything. You’re just waiting for me to answer.
Thyme
Well … yeah. That’s right. Come ta’ think of it. Hmm. (sigh) Wow. Hm …
(Long pause – While she considers)
God
You called?
Thyme
Oh yeah, well … ya’ got a minute?
God
Yup.
Thyme
How come, with all you gotta do, you can waste all this time with me?
God
Who said it was a waste of time, Thyme?
Thyme
Well, we have all these talks, an’ sometimes we jus’ talk ‘bout nothin’.
God
OK, so let’s talk about somethin’.
Thyme
Waddya wanna talk about?
God
You called me.
Thyme
Right. Gimme a minute here. Uhm … uuh …
God
You got all the time in the world, Thyme.
Thyme
Yeah, but define “world.”
God
Every. Thing.
Thyme
Phew. Ya’ got me there.
God
Good.
Thyme
Oooh, I’m sorry, God. I’m really frustratin’ ya’ this mornin’, ain’t I?
God
Thyme, the whole concept of frustration is a human thing. Frustration is a waste of time, Thyme. I do not regret the past and I already know the future, so there’s nothing to get frustrated about. Frustration implies no forward movement and if I am one thing, I am action. I know the future, so I am not afraid … nor am I ever frustrated.
Thyme
You know my future?
God
Thyme, if I know THE future, then I know your future.
Thyme
Oh yeah, tha’s right. Omniscient. All knowing. Ya’ wouldn’t care ta’ let me in on some a’ that, wouldja?
God
No, I wouldn’t care to do that.
Thyme
Well, rats! That would be right cool ta’ know. Boy oh boy, what I could do with that info …
God
If I told you, you wouldn’t believe it anyway.
Thyme
Uh oh, wha’s that ‘spose ta’ mean? (no response) Oh, I git it. Ya’ ain’t spillin’ nothin’.
God
Ya’ got that right.
Thyme
Not even a hint?
God
You will lead a life beyond your imagination.
Thyme
Now here I thought I had it all pretty much figgered out. An’ now yer tellin’ me i don’t know nothin’. Is that fair?
God
Who ever said that life on planet Earth was fair?
Thyme
Oh Lordy, now things are gettin’ a mite confusin’ here.
God
I’m not a bit confused. I understand everything. I’m omniscient.
Thyme
Now, I’m not only frustrated, I’m also confused!
God
You’re just human, Thyme. Comes with the territory. You wanna know the future? Just take the next step. It’s right there in front of you.
Thyme
I git it. I ain’t ready fer tomorrow til I git good at figgerin’ out today.
God
Atta girl. You wanna know your future? Just make it up. I’ll provide the rest.
Thyme
Trust in the Lord.
God
Have a good mornin’.
Thyme
(a big sigh)
OK …
I love my walks with my new friend Thyme Quinn, even if she is just in the Theatre of my imagination! Until next time, Thyme!