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Rosemary And Thyme #6 – Lizzie Done It

Scattershot Symphony Podcast
Series 3


Rosemary And Thyme Episode #6 – Lizzie Done It

Episode #6 – Lizzie Done It

The Gossips’ Revenge

Listen to the Podcast Episode

View the Transcript


Introducing our 16-Episode Podcast Musical

Rosemary And Thyme is a project 2 years in the making that now launches its sixth Episode, Lizzie Done It. This is the sixth of 16 Episodes that will be released every week from now until Christmas 2022. Join us! Take the Journey. Continue with Lizzie Done It.


The Cast of Episode 6


Episode 6 – Lizzie Done It
Explore the Playlist

View lyrics from the song playlist. Thanks for listening!


  • Title: Jus’ What Do You Think ‘Bout That / Ride ‘Em Outta Town On A Rail
  • Artist: Carolee Goodgold, Jan Horvath, Patrick Jude, Patrick Ryan Sullivan, Emily Bindiger
  • Composer: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link, Ragan Courtney
  • Lyrics:

    Jus’ What Do You Think ‘Bout That / Ride 'Em Outta Town on a Rail
    Music by Peter Link
    Words by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney

    Martha
    Martha here.

    Abigail
    Hi Martha. Now where was I?

    Martha
    Oh, hi Abigail. You was tellin’ me ‘bout the latest scuttlebutt regardin’ our Preacher man an’ that little checkout girl over at the grocery.

    Abigail (sings)
    That’s right, Martha,
    Lizzie says Thyme has jus’ gone crazy
    Whatcha think ‘bout that?

    Martha
    Well, it’s Shocking!
    Abigail
    Uh huh

    Martha
    Tell me more!

    Abigail
    Well, yeah!
    An’ she’s worried to death ‘bout her mental stability
    Now doncha tell no one, you hear?

    Martha
    Mum’s the word.

    This kinda thing can jus’ spread
    Across this town like a wildfire
    That’s right!
    An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness what we’re at
    So, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

    Martha
    Good lord ...well I ain’t never …

    Abigail
    Now Martha, ya’ better keep this information to yourself!

    Martha
    Well now, jus’ who am I gonna be tellin’?

    (We hear the familiar beep beep of them both hanging up. We then hear Martha dialing the number for Dorothy and then hear another ring of a cell phone. Dorothy answers.)

    Dorothy
    Zat you, Martha? Sure took you long enough to git back to me. I been jus’ settin’ here waitin’ breathless at what’s goin’ on in our OTHERWISE peaceful little town.

    Martha (sings)
    That’s right, Dorothy,
    Abigail says Thyme has jus’ gone loony
    Whatcha think ‘bout that?

    Dorothy (Gasp!)
    (disgusted)
    Disgraceful!

    Martha
    Uh huh

    Dorothy
    (Now suddenly thrilled at the thought, titillated)
    Perfectly scandalous!

    Martha
    An’ she’s petrified to death ‘bout her slip slidin’ sanity
    Now doncha tell no one, you hear?

    Dorothy
    Of course not!

    This kinda rumor can spread around town
    An’ before ya’ know we’re talkin’ tragedy

    Dorothy
    (Still titillated and licking her lips)
    It’s just shameful!

    An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness what we’re at

    Dorothy
    That’s right. Ain’t nobody’s business!

    Now, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

    Dorothy
    Well, I don’t even wanna begin to think ‘bout that! That kinda thing is nobody’s business an’ needs to be washed up under the table. Mum’s the word!

    (We hear Dorothy dialing the number for Rufus and then hear another familiar ring of a cell phone. Rufus answers.)

    Rufus.
    Rufus!

    Dorothy
    Rufus! You ain’t gonna believe this. This town’s sinkin’ down the mine shaft on its way ta’ Hell. We got here the scandal of the century!

    Rufus
    I believe it. I believe it, Dorothy!

    Dorothy (sings)
    Well, That’s right, Rufus,
    Martha says Thyme has now gone psycho
    Whatcha think ‘bout that?
    Uh huh

    Rufus
    I’ze jus’ horrified!

    An’ they’re puttin’ her away with the rest a’ them nuts
    In the nut house
    Now doncha tell no one, you hear?
    These kinda a facts can drive a whole town
    To the unsound mind a’ the maniacal

    Rufus
    Oh, our poor little town …

    Dorothy
    An’ it ain’t nobody’s bizness where we’re at
    Now, jus’ what do you think ‘bout that?

    Rufus
    An’ what’s this I hear about Thyme bein’ pregnant?

    Dorothy
    Oh my Lord, what’s next? I think we all better git on down to Abigail’s Grocerette an’ git this nasty business sorted out!

    Rufus
    I jus’ heard the whole town’s gatherin’ down in front a’ Jake’s Hardware!

    Dorothy
    Let’s us jus’ mosey on down there an’ continue this scintillatin’ conversation.

    (We hear the gathering of an incensed crowd in front of Jake’s Hardware.)

    Abigail (also arrives and sings)
    An’ what’s this I hear about our minister?

    Rufus
    An’ don’t tell no one,
    But there’s a rumor goin’ ‘round All Women - Ooooh
    That the baby may not be by Josiah!

    Martha
    Well, I heard whispered
    That the baby’s just a figment of her wild imagination!

    Dorothy
    An’ she claims to be a virgin, still!

    Martha
    (Gasp!)

    Abigail
    Well, Lordee me,
    That’s one for the ages ain’t it

    Rufus
    Who’s she think she is? (spoken) Mother Mary?

    (They all break up laughing.)

    Martha
    Well, I heard Thyme’s gone
    An’ up an’ told her ol’ friend Lizzie
    That she’s carryin’ the child a’ God!

    Dorothy
    Well, ain’t we all God’s Children?

    All
    Uh huh, yeah yeah Every one of us Every one of us

    Abigail
    But this one, she claims, is somethin’ special

    All
    Somethin’ special

    Rufus
    An’ what’s this I hear about Josiah sayin’ nothin’
    An’ actin’ like he hidin’ ‘hind that wife a’ his?

    All
    Oooooh

    Dorothy
    Yeah, I don’t go to church no more

    Rufus
    Oh mercy me, mercy me.

    Dorothy
    Cuz there’s somethin’ not quite right up in there.

    Martha
    These folks actin’ kinda uppity.

    Abigail
    Hidin’ somethin’

    Rufus
    Sayin’ nothin’

    Dorothy
    Just who do they think they are?

    Martha
    Lizzie … Lizzie! Have ya’ heard? The whole town’s in an uproar!

    Lizzie
    What the hell is goin’ on here?

    Abigail
    It’s our very own Minister an’ that hussy of a checkout girl!

    Lizzie
    You people need to mind your own business an’ git on home!

    Rufus
    Now I heard tell that old ma of hers is crazy
    An’ Thyme’s jus’ prob’ly caught what she got.

    All
    Uh humms

    Abigail
    Yeah I heard that too, but even worse I heard
    That Thyme thinks she’s birthin’ up
    A new Christ Child!

    (The Entire Crowd)
    (Gasp!)

    Rufus
    Well, that’s blasphemy!

    Dorothy
    That’s outrageous!

    Martha
    That’s a heresy, by God!!!

    (Now appears out of the crowd, The Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed.)

    Bishop Goodspeed
    That’s a sacrilege against the church, good people!

    (Gasp!) (Rufus)
    Rufus
    Why it’s Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed!

    Abigail
    Jus’ what you doin’ here?
    Bishop Goodspeed
    I’ve come to save this holy place
    From the Washburn’s transgressions ‘gainst the Lord!

    All
    (Gasp!)
    Dorothy
    Yes. It’s a violation of the Holy Book!

    Bishop Goodspeed
    A defiance of the word of God!

    Rufus, Martha, Abigail
    It’s a sin, It’s a sin, It’s A Sin!!

    Bishop Goodspeed
    It’s a sin against the good name of Skedee!

    All
    It’s a sin, It’s a sin, It’s A Sin!!

    All
    (Gasp!) (Gasp!)
    Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?
    Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?
    Oh Lord, have mercy! What’s to become of us?

    (Direct segue)

    Ride ‘Em Outta Town On A Rail

    Bishop Goodspeed
    So, listen up,good people
    It’s time to let the truth prevail

    All
    In this we must not fail

    Bishop Goodspeed
    I beseech you, every man, woman an’ … f-f-f female

    All
    Oh yes the time has come

    Bishop Goodspeed
    An’ now we must become the law of our lands
    An’ take this matter into our own hands

    Abigail
    Throw ‘em in jail!

    Rufus
    No! That ain’t good enough!! Ride ‘em outta town on a rail!

    All
    Yeah!!!

    Bishop Goodspeed
    There! Now ya’ have it! The Lord is speakin’ through ya’, sir! Why, I too can hear him like he’s standin’ right here next to me sayin’ … (sings)

    Ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Don’t need to throw ‘em in jail
    Don’t need to nail ‘em up or hang ‘em up
    Jus’ shut ‘em up for good
    Yeah, let’s ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Then, my friends, we’ll be done with ‘em

    We shall rid the great name of Skedee
    Of the Devil’s own
    Rain down fire an’ brimstone on ‘em
    An’ strip ‘em on down ta’ the bone
    Then tar an’ feather ‘em
    An’ say farewell
    Give no mercy, but give ‘em Hell
    An’ send ‘em off to the great unknown

    Bishop Goodspeed
    C’mon people, let’s …

    All
    Ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Goodbye Thyme we’ve had enough a’ you
    Don’t need to nail ‘em up or hang ‘em up
    Jus’ shut ‘em up for good Yeah yeah yeah
    Yeah, let’s ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Goodbye Thyme an’ the rest a’ you

    Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Goodbye Thyme we’ve had enough a’ you
    Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail
    Goodbye Thyme an’ the rest a’ you

    Jus’ ride ‘em outta town on a rail!
    Ride ‘em outta town on a rail

    Martha
    Let’s go get ‘em!

    All
    Yeeeeeeaaaaaah!!!


Let the Credits Roll!

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4 thoughts on “Rosemary And Thyme #6 – Lizzie Done It

  1. Rosemary And Thyme, you’ve got my Heart!
    I listened to this episode twice!
    I love and so appreciate the performances!
    Ya’ll Better Be Doin’ It!

  2. Self-righteousness is scary… it’s hard not to relate that mentality to what we’re experiencing in realtime today…so SAD!

    1. Yes, Carol, Self-righteousness is scary and the concept of Truth has taken a tremendous beating in our culture today. How many ministers, politicians, leaders, etc. have the same dis – ease as our Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed in today’s world? He is a true villain. A blowhard with nothing to blow about. A fun character for me to create! A modern-day King Herod.

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