Scattershot Symphony Podcast
Series 3
Rosemary And Thyme Episode #13 – Ramon
Episode #13 – Ramon

Ramon and the Coincidences of Honduras
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Rosemary And Thyme
Episode #13 – Ramon
Scene 1a
(We hear the car. They are driving and singing and laughing and are at the height of being one happy family.)
99 Bottles Of Beer
All (singing)
Take one down
Pass it around
69 bottles of beer on the wall
69 bottles of beer on the wall
69 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
68 bottles of beer on the wall
Scene 1b
Maria
Stop. please! Teach us another song, pleeeze Mister Josiah. This one go on forever! (They all laugh) Perhaps one in Spanish?
Josiah
Sorry, Maria, no speaka de Spanish, but I do know a little Pig Latin!
(They all laugh at his corny joke.)
Josiah
Uh, actually, we’re gettin’ a little low on gas. We gotta find a place to stop.
Lizzie
That’s fine with me. I’m ‘bout ready for the ladies’ room.
Thyme
Get in line.
Maria
A room for ladies? What we do in there?
Josiah
I’ll let you explain this one, Lizzie.
Lizzie
We do things that only ladies know ‘bout, Maria. Very private.
Maria
Jose cannot come?
Thyme
No Maria, Jose not allowed.
Maria
(Defiantly)
Then I not go either!
Lizzie
Oh, you’ll go all right! Ya’ won’t wanna miss this.
Jose
I take Alejandro. You go. Enjoy!
Josiah
Here we go. Comin’ up. Jimmy Bob’s Gas an’ Gastric Delights!
All
(Laughs and groans of pleasure)
(We hear the car pull off the road and drive up to the pumps.)
Jose
I stay in car with Alejandro. He sleeping now. You go make happy times in ladies’ room.
Lizzie
Yeah, c’mon Maria, we’re gonna go make happy times.
(We hear them all depart leaving Jose alone in the back seat of the car with the sleeping baby. He’s quietly singing the song we just heard them all singing. We hear someone tapping on the window. Jose rolls down the window.)
Scene 2
Jose
Si Senor?
Stranger
Cute little chiquito ya’ got there, mi amigo. You speak English?
Jose
Un poco.
Stranger
Nice car ya’ got here. Wow, purple, eh?
Jose
Si, purple. Gracias.
Stranger
Where ya’ headed?
Jose
H- hed … No comprendo … he … hed …
Stranger
¿Adónde vas?
Scene 3
Gabriel
At this point I shall spare you the time it would take to translate the ensuing conversation, but know that within the next five minutes it seemed to Jose that he had finally found what he sought — a new Spanish friend that was also from Honduras who had come to America, just like he had, escaping a troubled life, just like he had, journeying to New Mexico to find a new home, just like he had, but, sadly, he’d not found the dream he sought. How luxurious it was to, at last, have an entire conversation in Spanish! How fortuitous it was to run across such a compadre as his new friend whose fate and future so matched his very own. By the time Maria arrived, giggling, from her happy times in the newly discovered ladies’ room, Jose and the stranger were fast friends.
Scene 4a
Maria
(Comes back to the car)
Jose, I find treat for Alejandro!
Jose
Maria, I find new friend …
Maria
Oh! Hello, I am Maria.
Ramon
And I am Ramon Antonio Emiliano Rodriquez, at your service.
Jose
Maria, Ramon come also from Honduras! I tell him we go to join others like us who come America. He will join us in, …in … how do you say …?
Ramon
…in search of others who come with courage from so far away. They come in secret, and are most plentiful, but sadly also most surreptitious.
Maria
What is this surrep … surrep …
Ramon
Surreptitious. It simply means hard to find.
Maria
I see … Yes!
Jose
Ramon can teach more better English to you.
Maria
To us, Jose. To us.
Jose
Si. Si …
Ramon
A very fancy purple car you have here. Might I ride along with you, Señorita? I can perhaps pay for the gasoline.
Maria
Mind your manners, muchacho. I am old enough to be your madre.
Ramon
My apologies, Señora! Looks can be most deceiving.
Scene 4b
Gabriel (one liner)
So … You get the idea? A snowman in the middle of the desert? Well, ya’ shoulda heard Josiah when Jose an’ Maria approached him with the idea of addin’ yet another traveler into the already crowded back seat of the Studebaker.
Josiah
W- w- what?! Ya’ gotta be jokin’! There ain’t nuff room as it is! C’mon now, Jose … jeez …
Gabriel (one liner)
But when newfound friend, Ramon, slipped him a hundred dollar Ben Franklin when no one was lookin’, with a wink an’ a grin, well, … Josiah suddenly surprised everyone, ‘cept Ramon, with a change a’ heart.
Josiah
Well I ‘spose we could always put three in the front. It’ll be our good deed fer the day.
Lizzie
Josiah, you need ta’ git yo’ brain checked. If ya’ think I’m gonna squash up ‘tween you an’ Thyme …
Josiah
Now Lizzie, what if God sent this good soul in need to us on purpose? I can’t be turnin’ down God now, can I? After all, …
Josiah, Lizzie and Thyme join in
I am a minister!
Scene 5
Gabriel
So then there were seven … and a half … Josiah, drivin’, got the evil eye more than once from both Lizzie and Thyme squashed into the front seat while our three vagabonds from Honduras carried on ‘bout the good ol’ days back in Sabanagrande an’ what a small world it really is. How fascinatin’ it was that Ramon’s life so paralleled their own. Why, it was positively serendipitous, these three birds a’ the same feather … Hmmm …
But no, Ramon Antonio Emiliano Rodriquez was a charmer. Jose needed no convincing, Maria was slower to come around, but Ramon knew how to flirt just enough to awaken in her at least the thrill of being mistaken for the beauty she once was. Even so, she remained on the fence. Thyme was simply pleased to feel the joy and laughter coming from the lifted spirits of the back seat. For Josiah, at least, the stress of financial responsibility had been taken off his shoulders as Ramon continued to act the big spender buying lunch for all, and a grand assortment of snacks for the road as well as gas and even a suggested, (quote,)”Have an oil change. It’s on me. I hear a knocking of some concern in the vicinity of your carburetor.” Josiah could only be ever grateful for the pecuniary support. As to Lizzie, who, slightly more than all others, had seen it all, well, she waffled between cynic and skeptic with a variety of …
Scene 6
Lizzie
Oh, please … are you kiddin’? … c’mon, this guy’s a little much … Lordy, listen to him now …
Gabriel
And once, even a …
Lizzie
What a creep!
Thyme
Oh Lizzie, doncha see he’s jus’ bringin’ em such happiness …
Gabriel
An’ later, when they reached the outskirts a’ Albuquerque, Ramon even won Lizzie over when he announced that he’d be much obliged if he could treat them all to dinner …
Ramon
… at a fine restaurant of your choice. An’ it’s all on me!
Gabriel
An’ so they stopped for dinner in Albuquerque, NM. Lizzie took on the job of pickin’ the restaurant since she was so, by far, the one “in the know.”
Lizzie
Here it is now. The perfect one! French cuisine. Douche de Délices. Sounds like a place fer women only.
Scene 7
Gabriel
Well now that sorta takes away your appetite! Nevertheless, off they headed for an evening of delectable delights that none of them could pronounce. When they got to the restaurant, an’ were shown to their table, the first thing they all did was to head off to the ladies’ room … an’ for Josiah, a’ course, the men’s room, leaving behind Jose to mind the baby an’ a’ course, Ramon … to pursue his objective.
Scene 8
Ramon
Now Jose, tell me more about all these compadres we’re planning on meeting up with. They come from Honduras too?
Jose
Oh, si many come from Honduras to land of plenty. We have hope to meet soon.
Ramon
They come the same route you did?
Jose
Oh si, many people come to America.
Ramon
An’ there are a lot of them?
Jose
Oh yes, many hundred people come.
Ramon
By boat, by land, how?
Jose
Oh yes, many people come. Like us.
Ramon
No … But you? How did you travel?
Jose
Boat. We take boat.
Ramon
Who brought you to America?
Jose
White man. He hold my money so Maria and me become, how do you say, America citizen.
Ramon
Right. American citizens. Go on … and so you are now an American citizen?
Jose
I do not know. I do know I never see money again.
Ramon
Oh, that’s just terrible. You got screwed.
Jose
What “screwed” means?
Ramon
You know, taken for a ride, cheated.
Jose
I not understand.
Ramon
Yeah. So, when you got to America, how did you travel then?
Jose
With feet. We walk. With thumb. We ride. Always looking for our peoples.
Ramon
So, you haven’t found them? These peoples?
Jose
Que? … no comprendo …
Ramon (giving up)
Are you going to meet them? These many peoples?
Jose
Oh si, we hope to meet them very much.
Ramon
And do you know where you will all meet up?
Jose
Por favor, repita …
Ramon
Where will you find friends?
Jose
Aah, New Mexico. Si. Find friends New Mexico.
Ramon
No, I know that. What city?
Jose
I know not city. But soon … We find you!
Ramon (slowly)
Does Maria know where find friends?
Jose
Ah, si! Maria know everything. I follow. Ah, she comes. Ask now!
Ramon
OK, I won’t bother her now about this. I’ll talk to her later.
Scene 9
(The three ladies return to the table.)
Jose
Ah, Maria. Ramon have question for you.
Maria
Oh Jose, you should see ladies’ room. Very beautiful! Even a lady with towels to dry hands.
Jose
Maria, please answer question of Ramon.
Ramon
No that’s all right. No importante.
Lizzie
Yeah, howja like that stall? All the comforts a’ home!
Thyme
I wish my home looked like that.
Scene 10
Gabriel
An’ so it went. An evening of small talk an’ French cuisine.
Relaxed and havin’ fun and their first taste of a fine French Cabernet Sauvignon, they brag to their newfound friend and most generous host about finding their dream — a home amongst their people. Somehow, in the discombobulation of words lost in translation, the wrong idea continues to grow in Ramon’s mind.
Sometimes you humans hear only what you want to hear and leave the rest to pasture.
So, Ramon, eager to prove to his fellow CBP undercover agents and bosses of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection law enforcement organization, proved himself, in his over-zealous ambitions, to be decidedly human. Missing several salient points and, in fact, misunderstanding the most important point — that Jose and Maria, our two illegal immigrants were NOT meeting up with a cadre of highly organized illegal immigrants, but, in fact, knew no one in the whole of America except two Washburns and a Cranbottom.
Instead, his ethos to prove himself a guardian of our nation’s borders, stand fast on America’s front line and protect the hallowed homeland drove him to hunt down, expose, and eradicate the threats and instruments of terror from the dreaded enemy. That would be Jose and Maria. Thinking, and now knowing, that he’s on to something even bigger, something that will truly bring honor to himself and, a’ course, to his motherland agency, he excuses himself from the dinner table to make a phone call.
(We hear the sounds of a call being made and picked up.)
Scene 11
Ramon
Hey Felix. Lemme speak to the boss. I don’t care if he’s busy. This is a big one. I gotta speak to him now. No, we’re talkin hundreds. An’ we gotta act fast. Get him on the line. Now! (Pause) Hey Captain, Agent Smallwood here. I gotta big one. A whole cadre of illegals. I’m meeting them this evening in several hours, an’ this is so big I’m gonna need help. At least ten other agents besides myself, armed an’ ready ta’ rock. I’m in Albuquerque now with my source and they’re gonna lead me right to ‘em. Oh I’d say at least fifty to a hundred. All outta Honduras. Right. Right … I know it’s a lot to get together, but this is a big one. I’m sure of it. I don’t know exactly where yet, but we’re drivin’ West on Highway 40 towards the Arizona border. I know the meet’s set somewhere in New Mexico and at this rate we’ll probably hit the border in about 4 hours, Yeah, maybe somewhere around Gallup. No, they think I’m one a’ them. So far, so good. Well, actually, it was pretty easy. I just charmed the pants off of ‘em. Hah! A bunch a’ real dumb shits … OK, I’ll be in touch once we’re on the road. If I can’t find a place to call, I’ll text ya’. But the meet’s set for tonight. OK, see ya’ there … wherever there is.
(He goes back to the table)
Scene 12
Ramon
Now I don’t know where y’all are gonna end up tonight, but doncha think it’s time for the ladies to sleep in a real bed and have a shower an’ maybe even breakfast in bed?
(General enthusiastic agreement from all)
Ramon
So if you’d be willing to disclose to me at least the town that you’re headin’ for tonight, I’d be most happy to book a couple a’ hotel rooms in advance so we could all make ourselves a bit more civilized when the time comes. An’ it’s all on me.
Lizzie
Well, I donno ‘bout the rest a’ y’all, but I’m definitely in favor a’ bein’ more civilized.
(General enthusiastic agreement from all)
Ramon
Well then, good! So … what’s our destination?
Josiah
Anyone got the map?
Lizzie
Thyme, you’re the map lady.
Thyme
A’ course. I always come prepared! Let’s see here … we’re headed for the Arizona border … takes ‘bout 3 or 4 hours … there’s Bluewater … That sounds like a nice place … an’ then Pinedale, then … Hey, how ‘bout Gallup, New Mexico? That shore sounds like fun! Maybe Ramon could buy us each a horse!
Ramon
Very funny … Y’all sure do know how ta’ guard a secret. Are ya’ sayin’ Gallup’s the destination?
Josiah
I donno. Guess so. They got hotels there?
Ramon
Oh, another comedian … I’m sure they do. C’mon …
Josiah
Well then, Gallup it is!
Ramon
Good. You sure now? Gallup is the place, huh?
Josiah
Gallup, here we come!
Jose
Maria, we go Gallup?
Maria
Yes, Jose. Tonight, Gallup.
Jose
That be the end of New Mexico?
Lizzie
Yes, Jose. That be the end. But tomorrow we begin again!
Ramon
OK, thank you. Thanks for finally including me. I get it. Better to be safe than sorry! Yeah …
Maria
I pray we all be safe.
(General enthusiastic agreement from all)
Ramon
Y’all get ta’ prayin’. I just remembered. I gotta make another phone call. I’ll be right back.
Scene 13
Maria
Why does he leave us to make phone call? Will he not pray with us?
Jose
Very busy man, Maria. We pray. He make business.
Maria
And what business he make, Jose? He tell you? He is man of many questions, but not so many answers. I am not so sure, Jose. Strange feelings on this man.
Lizzie
Yes, Maria, Strange feelings …
Maria
My husband already be once a … a … How do you say … so-core?
Lizzie
So-core … so-core …? Oh yeah, I think the word is “sucker”, Maria. Sucker.
Maria
Si. Sucker.
(A little pregnant pause here)
Lizzie
Anyway … best not to go down that road. So, OK, now for the moment we all been waitin’ for … dessert! Whatcha all want?
Josiah
Now jus’ hold on a moment here. Speakin’ of Ramon, I been doin’ some wonderin’ ‘bout him. If he’s got all this money, why’s he hafta hitch a ride with us?
Lizzie
Good question! Somethin’ fishy ‘bout that guy.
Maria
He is man of many butterflies. All going different directions. He say he be looking for Spanish friends just like us. Where he be looking? On telephone?
Thyme
Do you think he really is Spanish, Maria? Sometimes his accent don’t sound so Spanish.
Maria
Well, he say he from America.
Lizzie
I thought he said he was from Honduras, jus’ like you.
Jose
Si, he from Honduras. Sabanagrande.
Maria
Well maybe he forget just where he from.
Josiah
Not likely, Maria. An’ what IS with all the phone calls? What’s so important that he missed half a’ the dinner?
Thyme
Well, we’ll jus’ hafta keep an eye on ‘im, that’s all. It’s clear that somethin’ ain’t addin’ up.
Maria
Maybe we order dessert for him. At least then he must join us.
Lizzie
Yeah, let’s jus’ order one a’ each an’ pass ‘em around. If he don’t like his, I’ll eat it.
Jose
Maria, please explain what is happening … I not follow. They do not like our friend?
Maria
No, Jose. Everything all right. No worries. We now order many desserts.
Scene 14
Gabriel
Stuffed to the gills with Crème brûlée, Profiteroles, Soufflé, Macarons and Pain au chocolat, and apprehension forgotten, after dessert they all climbed, groaning, back into the car to venture on. Ramon had returned excitedly to a table of delights, paid the check, announcing grandly the extravagant amount, leaving all breathless, finishing off his parting words to the wait staff with his usual, “and it’s all on me.” Which, of course, as we all now know, it was not. Rather it was all on the United States Government. Not surprising, was that Ramon Antonio Emiliano Rodriquez conveniently forgot to pay the tip.
Once back on the road, our strange little family settled quietly and thoughtfully into the equally strange and labored sounds of their purple chariot as it sped (at 40 miles per hour) across the desert floor. Other travelers, on their way West, seemed to fly by them at supersonic speeds, their red tail lights disappearing quickly into the blackness of the road ahead. And occasionally Thyme, squashed in between driver Josiah and a softly snoring shotgun Lizzie, would catch laughing children, noses pressed up against the back seat rear windows of their speeding BMWs an’ Mercedes-Benz waving jeeringly as they sped on out of sight. One little girl even gave her an’ her purple chariot the finger as she disappeared into the night.
But Thyme didn’t mind. There was nothin’ like the desert sky at night. Settin’ there in the front seat was like travelin’ among the stars, they was so close. Thyme hugged her growing baby in her tummy an’ thought, …
Thyme
I wish you could see what I’m seein’, little one. Some day, you an’ me, we’ll do this again. An’ when we do, I only hope we can travel more slowly … an’ have the time to take it all in.
Gabriel
The rest slept. Except, of course, Ramon who fantasized the hours that lay ahead. The thrill of the hunt, the lust of the bust, the opportunity to possibly, at last, use his firearm tucked away in his satchel, the drama of actually having the power to separate a newborn from its mother, the gratification of actually sending a minister an’ not one, but two women to prison for aiding and abetting illegal aliens, an’ the rush and adulation he would undoubtedly receive from his captain an’ fellow undercover agents for a job well done. He saw himself quickly rising through the ranks of the CBP. A guardian of the nation’s borders. A protector of the American people against terrorists and their instruments of terror.
He was deep into his nightly day dream when he began to smell smoke.
Scene 15
Ramon
Hey Josiah, do you smell what I smell? Smells like oil burnin’.
Josiah
Yeah, I slowed ‘er down to 30, but there’s still smoke comin’ from the engine.
Ramon
Did you get that oil changed?
Josiah
Well, a’ course, Morgan tol’ me she was an oil guzzler, but I had no idea …
Ramon
Maybe ya’ left the cap off.
Josiah
Well that kid back at the gas station seemed ta’ know what he was doin’ …
Ramon
Better pull off on the siding up there so’s I can take a look.
Josiah
OK, Will do.
(We hear the car slowing down and pulling off the road. Lizzie is first to wake up.)
Lizzie (sleepy)
Hey, why we stoppin’?
Josiah
Seems we got a little engine trouble. Gotta jus’ let ‘er cool down a bit, I reckon.
(The car comes to a stop.)
Ramon
Leave the engine runnin’. Everybody stay in the car. I’ll check under the hood. Josiah, sit tight. I may need you to pump the gas pedal to rev the engine for me.
We hear Ramon get out of the car and slam the car door shut.
Thyme (waking up)
What’s happenin’? Why we stoppin’?
Lizzie
Car trouble. Smell all that smoke?
Maria
Car broke?
Josiah
Nah. We jus’ gotta let things cool down a bit.
Gabriel (one liner)
For Ramon this was both a blessing and a curse. This might necessitate puttin’ the meet off for an hour or two, but at least he could now make a phone call to let ’em all know. So he opened up the hood an’ propped it open with the hood prop, you know, that stick that holds the hood way open so you can fix the engine? The hood bein’ all the way open now prohibited anyone in the car from seein’ what he’s doin’, so he yelled, …
Ramon
This may take a minute, Josiah, so everybody just sit tight an’ I’ll have it fixed in no time.
Maria (sarcastic)
How nice we have Ramon to take care of us. Perhaps he make more phone calls.
Gabriel (one liner)
At that, he placed his call to further update his captain as to the where and timing of the bust. Unfortunately, his captain had far too many unanswered questions that needed answering, so the call began to drag on an’ on…
Lizzie
What the hell’s he doin’ out there? Rebuildin’ the engine? This ain’t lookin’ so promisin’.
Josiah
I’m agreein’ with ya’ Lizzie. This is takin’ way too long. I’d honk the horn, but that could scare ‘im outta his shoes. Why doncha git on out there an’ see if ya’ can give ‘im a hand.
Lizzie
Well, OK, not sure what I can do, but I’ll give it a try.
Thyme
Keep the door open. We need some air in here.
Scene 16
Gabriel
It was pitch black outside when Lizzie got out. Josiah had turned off the headlights ta’ save the battery and the engine was still chuggin’, so Lizzie had to move slowly on the gravel siding an‘ Ramon, still on the phone, never heard or saw her comin’. She saw that he was once again, on the phone so, out of curiosity, she crouched down in the dark holdin’ on to the fender an’ gave the moment a good listen.
Scene 17a
Ramon
Don’t worry Cap, these people don’t suspect nothin’. Every one of ’em is just dumb as hell. By the time we get ta’ Gallup, I’ll have ‘em all wrapped around my finger. They already think I’m some sorta savior. It’s either prison or deportation for each of ‘em and you better have someone there to take the baby as well. No, I don’t think they are armed, but ya’ never know. They’re dumb enough to be carryin’. I really gotta go now, boss. They’re probably all asleep or beginning to wonder. Right! I’ll call ya again when we get close to Gallup. Let’s kick some ass!
Scene 17b
Gabriel
Lizzie heard every morsel of the conversation and as she stood up, her heart pounding furiously, she went to turn around an’ warn the others, but the gravel crunched under her feet.
Ramon
Someone there?
Lizzie (feigning innocence)
Hi Ramon. We was jus’ wonderin’ how yer doin’ out here, so I thought I’d come out an’ see if ya’ needed some help. Ya’ think things are coolin’ off?
Ramon
Yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing — letting things cool off a bit. We can probably get her going again soon.
Lizzie
Wow, you know all about engines? You are one smart stud. Highly intelligent AND good lookin’. Can you show me where the manifold is? I always wanted to learn ‘bout a car engine.
Gabriel
With that, she bends over into the engine under the hood giving Ramon a spectacular view of her backside. An’ then she softly purrs, …
Lizzie
Is that thing right there a manifold? I’ve always wondered what one looked like. C’mere an’ show me.
Gabriel
Ramon ducked under that hood with her faster than you could say “carburetor”. Flashlight in hand, he started to point out each engine part whether he really knew what it was or not. It was then that Lizzie came to the climax of her budding idea. Stepping back out of the way, she simply said, …
Lizzie
An’ what’s the purpose of this here stick? Oops!
Scene 18
Gabriel
With that, the purple hood of the Studebaker came crashing down on Ramon’s head, knocking him, not only stone cold, but also forcing his entire face and chest hard down upon the still smoking hot car radiator. All that could be seen from the front seat of the car were Ramon’s wildly twitching legs dancing furiously in mid air in some form a’ post-mortem type spasms as Lizzie stood back, arms folded, casually watching.
Lizzie (one liner)
Oh! I’m sorry. I guess that ol’ stick was there ta’ hold up the hood. Well, I mus’ be dumb as hell not ta’ have known that!
Ramon Antonio Emiliano Rodriquez, you dumb shit, I do apologize.
Gabriel
Now Lizzie had no intention in killin’ the man, an’ she hadn’t, but he was in bad shape. The back a’ his head all cut open an’ bleedin’ like a stuck pig, an’ the front a’ him burned to a crisp from chin ta’ navel. What she’d overheard Ramon sayin’ to his captain had been forever burned into her brain, so it had been easy relatin’ it, word fer word, to the others, who all sat, spellbound in their astonishment. All agreed. “That Ramon, he was some scoundrel!” But since he seemed to be still alive, they must do what they could to resuscitate ‘im. So, Josiah an’ Maria had him lyin’ out there on the gravel tryin’ ta’ revive ‘m and Lizzie sat tremblin’ in the front seat with Thyme who was tryin’ to give our hero some comfort.
Thyme
Now doncha fret none. Ya’ did whatcha had ta’ do an’ ya’ saved us. We ain’t outta the woods yet, but he ain’t doin’ no arrestin’ tonight an’ neither is anybody else. We’ll jus’ avoid ol’ Gallup, New Mexico like the plague an’ be on our way. Here, wipe yer nose with this Kleenex an’ stop yer shakin’, girl. We gonna be all right now. Doncha see? You were jus’ an instrument a’ God out there doin’ His work an’ protectin’ His child. I’m so proud a’ ya, Lizzie. Why you jus’ saved every one of us single handed like. You are somethin’ else, Sister!
Josiah
OK, we got his head all bound up with some newspaper an’ ma’ shirt an’ he come to, at least fer a minute. First thing he said after moanin’ a bit was, “Who the hell are you?” I don’t ’spose a little amnesia is particular bad for us at the present time. He’s pretty much a crispy critter in front, an’ he’s prob’ly in shock, so the best thing we can do fer ‘im is get ‘im to the hospital an’ be on our way. If we drop ‘im off at the emergency room door we can jus’ tell ‘em we found ‘im out on the road like this — which is, in fact, not even tellin’ a lie. Jose, let’s you an’ me get him in the car now an’ we be on our way.
Jose
Si, senor. Please forgive. I make terrible mistake. I so sorry.
Josiah
Jose, he hornswoggled all of us. We shoulda seen it comin’, but we didn’t. Thank the Lord fer Lizzie. She paid the devil his last farthin’. You paid the devil his due. Lizzie, ya’ did the right thing. When ya’ told us the things he said, I thought myself a fool fer not seein’ through his shenanigans. We was protected by both God an’ you, Lizzie. OK, c’mon Jose, let’s git ‘im in here.
Scene 19
Gabriel
An’ so, they did jus’ that. Ramon was a mess, totally delirious and totally confused ‘bout what was goin’ on around ‘im, but somehow he knew these strange people were helpin’ ‘im an’ he seemed grateful for that. The nearest town was jus’ ten minutes away and all went accordin’ to plan. Ramon Antonio Emiliano Rodriquez lived to tell about it, but he never did remember much ta’ tell.
So on they drove, through the night, finally leavin’ New Mexico behind — a hodgepodge a’ memories that would never be forgotten. When Josiah started noddin’ off at the wheel, Thyme drove while everyone slept an’ Lizzie squirmed an’ shuddered in her dreams. The sun rose on the Arizona highway up ahead, an’ Thyme, in her mind bid good mornin’ to her friend, God … an’ His child.
Just A Little Touch – Reprise 3
Thyme
I thank ya’ Lord this mornin’
I thank ya’ for the lion-heart
a’ Miss Lizzie
I thank you for her courage
An’ I thank you for this sunrise
That lights our way
An’ I ask that you watch over us
This day
An’ I pray you go before us
How could I ask for more
I don’t ask for much
I don’t ask for much
Jus’ a little such an’ such
Just a little touch
I don’t … ask for much
Oh no,
Jus’ a little such an’ such
Just a little touch
Just a little touch
Just a little …
Introducing our 16-Episode Podcast Musical
Rosemary And Thyme is a project 2 years in the making that now launches its thirteenth Episode, Ramon. This is the thirteenth of 16 Episodes that will be released every week from now until Christmas 2022. Join us! Take the Journey. Continue with Ramon.
The Cast of Episode 13







Episode 13 – Ramon
Explore the Playlist
View lyrics from the song playlist. Thanks for listening!
- Title: Just A Little Touch – Reprise 3
- Artist: Julia Wade
- Composer: Peter Link
- Lyricist: Peter Link, Ragan Courtney
- Lyrics:
Just A Little Touch – Reprise 3
Music by Peter Link
Words by Ragan Courtney and Peter LinkI thank ya’ Lord this mornin’
I thank ya’ for the lion-heart
a’ Miss Lizzie
I thank you for her courage
An’ I thank you for this sunrise
That lights our way
An’ I ask that you watch over us
This day
An’ I pray you go before us
How could I ask for moreI don’t ask for much
I don’t ask for much
Jus’ a little such an’ such
Just a little touchI don’t … ask for much
Oh no,
Jus’ a little such an’ such
Just a little touch
Just a little touch
Just a little …
Let the Credits Roll!
Click to View Rosemary And Thyme Credits
Credit Roll
Book and Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Music by Peter Link
Director and Dramaturg – Ron Stetson
The Cast
(In Order of Appearance)
Thyme – Julia Wade
God – Michael Tucker
Josiah Washburn – Steve Blanchard
Lizzie Cranbottom – Judy McLane
Gabriel – Peter Link
Gabe – Peter Link
Mama – Terry Burrell
Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed – Patrick Ryan Sullivan
Dikke Matumbeh – Melvin Abston
Dr. Alfredo Encarnacion – Martin Sola
Maj. Zwei Xiang – Michelle Liu Coughlin
Abigail – Carolee Goodgold
Dorothy – Emily Bindiger
Martha – Jan Horvath
Rufus – Patrick Jude
Trucker – Wayne Duvall
Morgan Abernathy – Wayne Duvall
Jose – Robert Montano
Maria – Natalie Toro
Elvira – Jenny Burton
Ramon Rodriguez – Don Scardino
Slick Presley – Peter Link
Production Staff
Watchfire Music
Julia Wade – President, Peter Link, CEO & Creative Director
Associate Producer – Amanda Weitman
Associate Producer – Barbara Keller
Associate Producer – Dustin Link
Associate Producer – Stuart Barefoot
Theatrical Attorney – Christopher Smith
Mastered by Philip Klum Mastering, NYC
Dialogue Recording Engineer – Tim Leitner
Marketing – Jass Bianchi and Color In Sound
Casting – Steve Blanchard
Cast Schedule Coordination – Jenny Burton
Assistant to Jenny Burton – Hanna Rowe
Driver – Patrick Jude
Recording Studios
Link Studios, Summit, NJ
Strange Weather, Brooklyn, NY
The Recording Den, Bethany, CT
John Kilgore Sound, NYC, NY
Assistant Engineer – Nate Brailer
Technical Assistant To Peter Link – Nathan Burgdorff
Sound Effects Design & Implementation – Peter Link
Sound Effects Research and Capture – Jenny Burton
Pro Sound Effects
The Hollywood Edge – The Premiere Edition
Pixabay.com
Design
Graphics & Videography – Skye Malone
Logo Design – Renee Gannon
Listen to The Scattershot Symphony Podcast Series here:
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