Rosemary And Thyme

Episode #14 – Sloggin’ On

Scene 1

Gabriel

An’ on they drove. Now with a new kind of camaraderie — the kind that comes from triumph in the face of certain defeat — the kind that comes from survival against all odds. At the height of all their togetherness and joy, in the rush of abandonment that comes from laughter, I was first ta’ hear a loud bang … and as the smoke cleared, wouldn’t ya’ know it, the old Studebaker had finally thrown a rod.

Scene 2

Lizzie

What the hell was that?!

Thyme

Josiah, what’s all that smoke? Again?

Josiah

Good lord, would ja’ look at that! There’s a hole clear through the hood of the car.

Lizzie

Oh noooo … What next?

(We hear the engine of the car sputter and die.)

Josiah

Musta thrown a rod.

Thyme

Now Maria, doncha all worry. Josiah, he can fix anything.

Lizzie

She’s right! Preacher man can fix anything.

Josiah

Not this time, Ladies. That ol’ piston jumped clear out of the manifold. That’s it. Damn. This ol’ girl has gone her last mile. Time to get out, people.

(Groans all around.)

Thyme

So what are we to do now?

Lizzie

I guess it’s back to walkin’.

Thyme

You mean we just have to walk away and leave the car behind?

Josiah

That’s right. That old thing’s ready for the scrap heap. Needs a whole new motor. Say goodbye. It was good while it lasted. Everybody take a little somethin’. Only carry what you think you can handle. Leave the rest behind.

Maria

I take Alejandro.

Josiah

That’s right. Better not be leavin’ him.

Thyme

I guess I’ll be carryin’ little Morgan.

Josiah

OK, Lizzie an’ I can take whatever food is left. What’s that big thing, Jose?

Jose

It is my life, wrapped in blanket.

Josiah

Well OK, sir, don’t be leavin’ that behind. I donno how far we’re gonna get in this heat. So we better get movin’.

Gabriel

And so, our little family began to walk … on to California. Across the desert, heading west under the burning sun. Alejandro slept, the water ran out, Maria stayed very silent, Lizzie wore a blister an’ let everybody know about it, Josiah told wondrous stories, Jose tried, but failed in his English, to understand, Thyme prayed, and all struggled on with a fierce determination, but the sun won. Finally, Josiah, mercifully brought them all to a halt.

Josiah

Oooh, my friends, this just ain’t workin’. It’s jus’ too hot. That ol’ sun has a mind to turn us all to dust. We gotta stop. Maybe it be better to do all this walkin’ at night. Everybody, let’s jus’ git off this road an’ grab a little siesta. We’ll jus’ never make it this way.

Lizzie

I think you’re right, Josiah. All I wanna do is jus’ go ta’ sleep.

(All concur.)

Check the map there. How far’s the nearest motel?

Josiah

Good Lord, we’re 50 miles from any town ahead. Y’all git some shuteye an’ I’ll try ta’ figure out what we’re gonna do next.

Thyme

Josiah, you need to sleep too, darlin’.

Josiah

Thyme, you sleep an’ take care a that baby. I’ll figure somethin’ out. I promise ya’.

Thyme

All right, Josiah. I’m holdin’ ya’ in my prayers.

(Quiet pause …)

Scene 3a

Josiah

Lord … I’m a’callin’ on ya’ now ta’ look our way an’ pay these folks a little attention. These precious people have become very important to me now and I’m feelin’ responsible. We got ourselves in quite a jam here, an’, well, I’m afraid. I jus’ done run outta next steps. These people is what’s left a’ my little church now an’ I’ve taken a vow ta’ care for ‘em. Settin’ here ‘mongst ‘em all, watchin’ ‘em sleepin’ like babies, so exhausted like … an’ here I am, plum outta ideas. Hmmm?

(He gets no response.)

Lord, I’m talkin’ to ya’ now. I jus’ wish ya’ might answer me back. It shore would make me feel like you’re hearin’ me. Lord? Are ya’ there? I know you be talkin’ ta’ ma’ wife, Thyme an’ all, but I guess I’ve now become the leader of this little band a’ yer followers an’ the father a’ yer son. I know that sounds a bit strange, you bein’ the real father an’ all, but I ‘spose I could at least be called the Earthly Dad, right? (No answer) OK, I git it. Yer jus’ not now in the talkin’ mood. Prob’ly be busy with Afghanistan or somethin’.

So, I guess I’ll jus’ be hollerin’ out to you, Gabe. Gabriel … whatever … Remember me? We’s ol’ pals. Ya’ know I always believed in you angels. Why, I even preached ya’ in ma’ church. Maybe you an’ yer people, ah, er, angels can point me a direction. We all ol’ friends, after all. Whatcha think? (No answer) Well, I guess y’all are busy too, doin’ all yer guardian stuff. But I gotta tell alla’ y’all, I’m at the end a’ my rope here, an’ if a’ y’all ‘er out there listenin’, I shore could use yer help!

Gabriel

Now, ya’ know, this was just a tough moment. On one hand, us angels are always on the ready ta’ be there fer you humans. But then, on the other hand, we were under God’s very specific orders ta’ make sure Mom an’ Pop build enough muscle ta’ handle jus’ ‘bout anything comin’, on down the road. So, all us angels knew, well, we knew ta’ stay back an’ let Josiah find his own way. But that’s hard fer us. It’s just not natural, ya’ know? Now, a’ course, Josiah couldn’t see us, but I decided that what we could do was be, you know, well … stealth. Powerful, but invisible. So, seven of us angels gathered ‘round him in a circle an’ jus’ poured out our hearts an’ energies inta’ him. An’ by golly, well, a’ course, it worked! The atmosphere in that little circle jus’ began ta’ tingle an’ dance with jus’ the sweetest a’ feelin’s. An’ Josiah, bein’ Josiah, well. He jus’ drank it all in. The biggest ol’ grin then came across his face, an’ I could see that he was free. I heard him whisper, “ I git it!” And at that, like a good shepherd, he walked among his sleeping flock, an’ became the father of them all … the father he was always cut out ta’ be.

{Music}

Josiah

Now, I gotta jus’ turn it over to you, Lord, I reckon. We’re fifty miles from anywhere, an’ I don’t think any of us could even walk two of ‘em. Lord, I jus’ love these people. They are my little flock. An’ your son is amongst us.

Scene 3b

With My Friends

In an hour or two I will shoulder my load

And head out on that lonely road again

But just for the moment it’s cozy and warm

There ain’t nobody here except my friends

With my friends

There’s nothing left to prove

There’s nothing that’s forbidden or taboo

With my friends

There’s no way I have to be

I like them and they seem quite fond of me

Nothin’ to hide

The heart swings wide

You’re lookin’ deep in someone’s eyes

You fall inside

One of ya’ smiles

Maybe him maybe you

One of ya’ speaks

Ya’ don’t care who

There’s no damn difference between you two

An’ it feels that close with all of you

With my friends

With my friends

With my friends

With my friends

With my friends

Seems like my friends since time began

The Lord don’t give much more than this to man

With my friends

There’s nothin’ to explain

Though kings and kingdoms crumble

Friends remain

No I never asked to be born in a world

Where men are out to murder other men

Now I found me a place so peaceful and safe

Where everybody’s everybody’s friend

Now all of my dreams

An’ all my pride

An’ all them plans jus’ up an’ died

They’re all just as gone as yesterday

Now I got you

An’ you got me

An’ what more would we ever need

To bear these trials an’ be on our way

Yes it feels so close with all of you

With my friends

With my friends

With my friends

I ain’t goin’ walkin’ no lonely road

I’ll be with my friends

With my friends

With my friends

Scene 4

Gabriel (one liner)

And Josiah slept.

(Pause — we hear a sweet refrain.)

And the baby kicked.

Thyme (waking up)

Oooooh …

Lizzie (groggy)

What was that? You all right?

Thyme

I think the baby kicked. I could feel it! It’s too hot for him. We gotta get to some shade …

Josiah (waking up)

No. We should leave now an’ get goin’. You need to get up on my back again.

Thyme

Oh no I’ll be all right. I jus’ wish jus’ one of them cars would stop for us.

Josiah

Nobody’s gonna stop ta pick up 5 hitchhikers. No point in even stickin’ your thumb out. I’m thinkin’ it’s time we all get to prayin’. (Now a bit miffed …) God, you sure is testin’ us now! How we doin’? Strong enough yet?

(No answer)

Lizzie

I guess not.

Josiah

C’mon folks. Better get hikin’. That sun ‘ll be down soon, an’ then it’s gonna get cold. OK, people, no worries. I got it all figured out … an’ it goes like this.

(We hear them shuffle on, silently at first, but then Josiah begins to sing a reprise of With My Friends. Perhaps they all sing with him a bit as he tries to pick up their spirits, but one by one they drop out from exhaustion until only Josiah is left steadfast, but fast fading, until he is alone singing the song.)

Scene 5

With My Friends – Reprise

Josiah

(Sings and the others then join)

We can walk nine miles

In jus’ three little hours

By then the stars will laugh an’ close the day

An’ maybe then

A good ol’ wind will come

An’ pick us up an’ carry us away

With my friends

We’ll sail among the clouds

An’ feel the breezes blowin’ through our hair

With my friends

We’ll travel ‘cross the sky

An’ be in California by ‘n by

With my friends

With my friends. C’mon people!

With my friends

With my friends. I know it’s getting’ hot, but we can make it!

With my friends. That’s jus’ beautiful!

With my friends. Whoo boy, it’s a hot one!

With my friends. C’mon people, stay together!

With my friends. Oh Lord, I donno …

( As the song winds down and gets slower and slower, finally only Josiah is left singing. At last, totally defeated by the heat, Josiah, exhausted, quits as well,)

Scene 6

Josiah

I give up. This ain’t workin’. I’m sorry, people. I got nothin’ left. Anybody got any ideas? (no response) I thought so. Lord, I guess we need another miracle. Lord? Are ya’ listenin’? Lord? (no response) What do y’all wanna do now?

Scene 7a

(Josiah’s now lone efforts are interrupted by the tuneful horn (it plays the first 4 bars The Yellow Rose Of Texas) of a very classy car. We hear the slow down purr of an expensive engine.)

(We hear the car stop. We hear the horn once more.)

Slick Presley

Hello, good people! Where ya’ headin’?

Lizzie

California.

Slick

Well I ain’t goin’ that far, but I can take ya’ part way!

Josiah

You mean in that there Cadillac limousine?

Slick

Oh this old thing? I think it’ll fit y’all.

Maria

We got baby too! Alejandro!

Slick

Well, so nice to meet ya’ Alejandro! Ma’ name’s Slick Presley — 3rd cousin to Elvis! You can call me Slick. This is jus’ one of my Caddies. Named her Mariah — as in “they call the wind Mariah!” Don’t let them virile steer horns on the front grille fool ya’. She’s a “she” an’ she’s a hot little number. She tops off at about a hundred an’ forty!

Thyme

Miles per hour? Oh, I don’t think we’re in that much of a hurry.

Slick

Now I’m bettin’ that old purple cow back there on the side of the road was yours. Somebody had already took the tires off!

Lizzie

Well, Mr. Slick, I’ll jus’ be slidin’ in here next to ya’ ridin’ shotgun if’n ya’ don’t mind.

Slick

Slip right on in here, little lady. We got a wet bar in the back an’ I’m feelin’ kinda dry. What’re ya’ havin’?

Lizzie

Thank you, handsome. I’m Lizzie an’ I prefer a sloe gin fizz, but I’ll settle for a mint julep with a twist, if you please. By the way, that’s Josiah, Maria, Jose, an’ Thyme. That’s T-H-Y-M-E. An’ she’, believe it or not, is carryin’… well, let’s just say she’s with child.

Slick

I just popped the trunk there Jose, so you can deposit your load there if you like.

Jose

Thank you. No. I keep. It be my life.

Slick

Fine by me. Lotsa room in the back for everybody an’ everything.

Gabriel (one liner)

And so, they set out headed for the state line into Arizona in style. Slick Presley — 3rd cousin to Elvis — at the wheel.

Scene 7b

Slick

Now you folks back there, you’re welcome to take advantage of all the accoutrement of your surroundings. Help yourselves to the wet bar. There’s even milk in the little fridge for Alejandro. Jus’ don’t be makin’ him no martinis. He probably won’t like the olive! (He laughs and gets a big kick out of his own joke.) if ya’ pull out that little door next to the fridge, you’ll see a pizza makin’ machine. Jus’ leave a peanut butter ‘n jelly slice for me! (He laughs again and gets even a bigger kick out of his own joke.) An’ if y’all really wanna party, jus’ turn on them disco lights and crank up the music in the CD player. We got 15 surround speakers an’ a sub woofer to get ya’ rockin’ an’ dance the night away. Also them chairs y’all’s settin’ on are recliners covered in cashmere ta’ warm yer bottoms an’ soothe yer soul. All brought to you by Slick Presley — 3rd cousin to Elvis. Why, ya’ know, I bet y’all would even be interested in me tellin’ the story of the day I met the man. It was back one night in Las Vegas when I went backstage after his show …

(The musical interlude drowns out his story.)

Scene 8

Gabriel

And so it went. As Slick talked and talked an’ drove an’ drove through the night, no pizzas were made, no dances were danced and only the recliners were explored as our little exhausted party slept and slept. Slick talked on an’ on regaling them with story after story of his life and Cousin Elvis, thinking he had totally captivated his totally attentive audience when really the drone of his voice through the night cast a somnolent atmosphere throughout the evening and into the early morning.

Finally, as dawn appeared in his rear view mirror, needing a filling station to solve several issues, Slick Presley an’ his Caddy, Mariah, pulled up to the pumps and came to rest.

Scene 9

Slick

Y’all are awful quiet back there. I must say you are the quietest folks I ever met. (Now more to himself) Also some of the most boring people I’ve ever met. Some party … Not exactly what I expected … (now muttering) Seven friggin’ hours from Tucumcari to the Sedona turnoff and’ hardly a word out a any of ya’ … Strange people …(now louder) OK folks. Last stop. This is where I turn North an’ head on home. Y’all jus’ keep goin’ straight on down that highway out to California. Only ‘bout five hunnert miles ta’ go!

Scene 10

Gabriel (one liner)

So it was back to walkin’ again. Our little band of weary travelers bid their fond farewells to Slick Presley — 3rd cousin to Elvis, and watched him n’ Mariah drive on down the road.

Josiah

Well that was some kinda feller …

Thyme

Fare thee well, Slick. Thanks for the lift!

Jose

Adios …

Lizzie

Well wouldja’ look at that. That car jus’ seemed to lift up offa the road an’ float. Oh my lord, What happened? Did you see that, Josiah? It just … disappeared! Like it jus’ simply de-materialized in mid air. Why, I never …

Thyme

Oh my goodness …

Josiah

Well I’ll be …

Lizzie

Who coulda’ imagined such a thing?

Josiah

Musta been one of them optical illusions …

Maria

It be de hoodoo …

Jose

La Magia … el hechizo …

Gabriel

And so they turned, stunned to silence at what had transpired before them, lost in thought they proceeded on their weary way, but none could figure out what they’d seen. Or had they actually seen it at all? The morning sun grew higher an’ definitely hotter as they walked. Josiah did what he could to elevate their spirits, but to no avail. For in each of their minds rang Slick’s last prophetic words. “Only ‘bout five hunnert miles ta’ go!” … “Only ‘bout five hunnert miles ta’ go!”

Scene 11

[Music]

Lizzie (one liner)

Well, here we are. Now what? Stuck out here in the middle a’ the desert, no wheels, hotter’n Hell, an’ well, plum tuckered out! The last miracle jus’ drove away up inta’ the sky! I donno … Things ain’t lookin’ so good … Frustratin’!

500 Miles

I donno

I donno

I jus’ don’t know how we’re ever gonna make it

It’s too long a road

For one little baby. (It ain’t right!)

An’ a woman with child

Oh Lord, help us now! We really need ya’ ta’ be payin’ attention!

I donno

No I donno

I jus’ don’t know how we’re ever gonna make it

We’re plum outta miracles

An’ I still don’t know what good I am

Me an’ them

Got a long way ta’ go

Ha! Goin’ no place

Goin’ no place

Goin’ no place

Now what’s the point of it all ‘a goin’ no place

For 500 miles

500 miles. (It’s a long way ta’ California!)

500 miles

For 500 miles

I donno

No I donno

I jus’ don’t know If this little one can take it

With me walkin’ this road

I carry this burden

That I never wished for

But I took the job

So I’m good fer it, but it sure is a lotta walkin’!

So I donno

No I donno

I jus’ don’t know If I got the stuff ta’ make it

An’ carry this little one

It’s a huge responsibility

An’ a cross ta’ bear

Much bigger than me

I’m jus’ a back country girl

Wantin’ nothin’

Nearly nothin’

So what’s the point of it all ‘a pushin’ onward

For 500 miles

We don’t stand a ghost of a chance

500 miles

But what else can we do

500 miles

When there’s nothing left to turn to

500 miles

But keep on pressin’ on

500 miles

Through all our wearied trials

For 500 miles

An’ trek those last 500 miles

I donno

No I donno

I jus’ don’t know if I can keep on fakin’ it

I’ve run outta promises

They all look to me like

I know what I’m doin’!

But I ain’t got a clue

Yet I’m sloggin’ on

Yes, I’m sloggin’ on

I jus’ don’t know if I can keep on fakin’ it

This leadin’ the way

Ta’ some flimflam bullshit paradise

That no one but a fool could believe in

It’s wishful thinkin’

It’s jus’ a pipe dream

We’re goin’ no place

An’ what’s the point of it all goin’ no place

For 500 miles

We don’t stand a ghost of a chance

500 miles

But what else can we do

500 miles

When there’s nothing left to turn to

500 miles

But keep on pressin’ on

500 miles

Through all our wearied trials

For 500 miles

An’ trek those last 500 miles