bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. My CartView products in your cart. searchCreated with Lunacy

Episode #3 – Just For Laughs

Scattershot Symphony -The Music of Peter Link
A Podcast


Episode #3
Just For Laughs

Funny Thoughts from Peter Link:

Here we are talking about humor. It seems like a good direction after dealing with serious issues of the world in Episode #2

So I ask you, what makes us laugh? Well, the absurd makes us laugh:

“An elephant and a hippopotamus walk into a bar …”

Then there are sight gags: 

A man slips on a banana peel.

There’s all kinds of humor.  There are sight gags and farce, burlesque and satire – and my own personal favorite, wit. In this particular episode, I share songs that in some way or another feature a little bit of all of the above.

Listen to the Podcast:


Just For Laughs
Playlist

Listen to samples, view lyrics and click through to download. Thanks for listening!

  • Title: For The Birds
  • Artist: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    05:00
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    For the Birds
    Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee (x2)

    This song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    This song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    There's a blue jay on my doorstep
    Tryin' to steal the laces
    Off my runnin' shoes
    He's some kinda mad kleptomaniac
    He can't help it cause it's in his genes
    He don't read the magazines
    So he don't know what kleptomania means

    Clear of conscience,
    But still guilty as sin.

    So this song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    There's a hummingbird at my window
    Lookin' at me while I write this song
    And we're eyeball to eyeball

    Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
    Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
    Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
    Hummingbird
    Hmmmmmmmmm
    Hummingbird
    Hmmmmmmmmm
    Hummingbird

    Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee (x2)

    Birds:

    They don't know where they come from
    Don't know where they're goin' to
    Don't have time to wonder
    Too busy flyin' at the moon
    Too busy tryin' to prune
    Too busy workin'
    For the early mornin' worms
    Singin'
    Baby I'll be comin' home soon

    So this song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    There's a woodpecker peckin'
    On the side a' my house
    Puttin' a hole where there ain't one
    An' it ain't very nice
    I already got me some mice
    And they're fillin' my life with their holes

    Just like the moles.

    And oh what a mess
    But I got to confess
    That I tend to digress

    Point being:

    This song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    There's an eagle in my back yard
    Wonderin' what became of america
    He's got the whole world on his shoulders
    Musta gone bald thinkin' about the A-bomb
    Musta gone bald just tryin' ta' stay calm
    He's still worryin' about Vietnam

    Somebody oughta tell 'im.
    The war's over.

    And this song is for the birds
    This song is for the birds

    Each mornin' they sing a new symphony
    It's a soaring cantata to the sky above
    An' it's all about feathers an' makin' love

    Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee

    Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
    Deet
    'N' dee dee
    Deet

    So this song is for the birds!


I Can’t Remember My Name
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link


  • Title: The Woman In Me
  • Artist: Julia Wade, Peter Link
  • Composer: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    05:23
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    The Woman In Me
    Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    Julia
    Lastly
    Let me introduce you to
    Yet another special friend
    Somewhat off the wall
    But nonetheless quite real

    She's really rather shy
    But coming to the fore
    With an iron strength of will
    Though quite genteel
    And she's so sweet
    Peter
    So sweet
    She's the woman in me
    Both
    She's a ballerina dancing in the dark
    Julia
    She hides behind the curtain
    In her innocence and grace
    And sings to me the songs of the skylark

    Peter
    I knew not
    Julia
    You knew not
    Peter
    Of the woman in me
    As I wandered through the trials of my youth
    She emerged from out the shadows
    As I ripened in my years
    Julia
    Your boyhood years
    Peter
    And I slowly grew accustomed to the truth
    I had a woman in me
    Julia
    And though I fell in love with the boy
    The fine fellow and the man
    There was this little something extra that emerged
    And then I found in him a friend, a friend indeed
    And yes I found in him, at times, a girlfriend when in need
    And I found in him a woman's stability
    Peter
    And I found I had that woman in me

    Somewhere between my noisy masculinity
    Julia
    And your quiet femininity
    Peter
    I searched to find the balance of life
    Julia
    Somewhere between the husband
    Peter
    And the wife
    Julia
    Aaah
    Both
    In the halting of the pendulum
    Peter
    I found the perfect equilibrium
    The man I'd become
    Julia
    Your true individuality
    Peter
    The man I am
    And yes, the woman in me

    Both
    The best part
    Peter
    Of the woman in me
    Both
    Is the essence of what every woman knows
    It soothes the broken promise
    As it calms the ruffled heart
    It's the tenderness that melts the winter snows

    Peter
    Yeah, that's the woman in me
    Julia
    And though I spend my days with the boy
    Peter
    Aaaah
    Julia
    The fine fellow and the man
    Sometimes I need a smidge of sister in my life
    So I have found in him a friend, a friend indeed
    Ah, that's me …
    And yes I've found in him, at times, a girlfriend when in need
    And I've found in him a woman's gentility

    Peter
    And I've found I have that woman in me

    Julia
    Hey Girlfriend, let's go get our nails done!
    I love you, Mister Mom.
    You clean the house, while I slave away in the office.
    You dust the limoge, while I haul trash to the dump
    You water the plants while I shovel the driveway
    Just don't be tryin' on none of my dresses!

  • Title: Goin' For A Ride
  • Artist: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    03:30
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    Goin' for a Ride
    Music and Lyrics adapted by Peter Link

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride in my car car
    Goin' for a ride in my car car
    Goin' for a ride in my car car
    Woncha come along with me

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride on my tractor
    Goin' for a ride on my tractor
    Goin' for a ride on my tractor
    Woncha come along with me

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
    Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
    Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
    Woncha come along with me

    "All aboooooaaaaard!" "chhhh,
    Chhh, chhh, chhh, chhh, whooooo whoooo

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
    Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
    Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
    Woncha come along with me

    "Hold on tight!"

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
    Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
    Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
    Woncha come along with me

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
    Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
    Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
    Woncha come along with me

    "Ok, everybody, follow us. Cause we're gonna take a ride on my hippopotamus! Galumpf, galumpf, galumpf, galumpf"

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
    Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
    Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
    Woncha come along with me

    Ooohhh
    Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
    Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
    Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
    Goin' for the ride of my life

  • Title: I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More/ I Got A Robe
  • Artist: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    05:32
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More
    Traditional, New Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    On roller skates
    'Cause you'll roll right by
    Them pearly gates
    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    On roller skates
    'Cause you'll roll right by
    Them' pearly gates
    I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

    No an' don't try goin' by rollerblades
    Cuz ya' can't roll over dem barricades

    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    In a skin tight dress
    Cuz the curves you got
    Mean less and less
    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    In a skin tight dress
    Cuz the curves you got
    Mean' less and less
    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

    Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a fancy suit
    Cuz the Lord upstairs don't give a hoot

    But I got a robe
    You got a robe
    All God's children got a robe
    When I get to Heaven
    Gonna put on my robe
    I'm gonna shout all over God's Heaven

    Heav'n heav'n
    Ev'rybody talkin' 'bout Heav'n
    Ain't goin' there
    Heav'n, Heav'n
    Gonna shout all over God's Heaven

    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    In yer ol' man's car
    'Cause the dang ol' thang
    Won't go that far
    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    In yer ol' man's car
    'Cause the dang ol' thang
    It won't' go that far
    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

    An' you can't get to Heaven in a limousine
    'cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline

    No' you can't get to Heaven with a lot of cash
    Cuz it only goes right in the trash

    An' you can't get to Heaven in a Cadillac
    Cuz they'll laugh ya' down
    And send you back

    But I got shoes
    You got a shoes
    All God's children got shoes
    When I get to Heaven
    Gonna put on my shoes
    I'm gonna walk all over God's Heaven

    Heav'n Heav'n
    Ev'rybody talkin' 'bout Heav'n
    Ain't goin' there
    Heav'n, Heav'n
    Gonna shout all over God's Heaven

    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    With a mortal sin
    Cuz the Lord don't 'low
    No sneakin' in

    Oh you can't get to Heaven
    With a mortal sin
    Cuz the Lord don't 'low
    No sneakin' in
    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

    An' ya' cain't get to Heaven
    If ya' never try
    An' ya' only start
    Jes' before ya' die

    But if you get to Heaven
    Before I do
    Jus' bore a hole
    An' pull me through

    I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
    I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

    That's right! Don't be givin' him no more grief!

    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more
    I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more
    I ain't a-gonna grieve
    My Lord!


I Can Sing (From “Searching For My Father”)
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link


  • Title: Mrs. Draba
  • Artist: Don Scardino
  • Composer: Peter Link
  • Source: Book by Steve Tesich
  • Duration:
    02:29
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    Mrs. Draba
    Music by Peter Link
    Lyrics by Jacob Brackman

    Hey look at me, Mrs. Draba
    I'm the kid you used to call "Johnny Dumb"
    You said I wasn't up to the curriculum
    And I'd likely wind up as a pool hall bum

    You can read about me now in the Millertown Gazette!

    Hey look at me, Mrs. Draba
    I'm the kid you said belonged behind a plow
    But instead of doin' poorly I'm a-takin' a bow
    And I surely wish that you could get
    A load of me now.

    Remember when I failed my multiplication?
    Remember where you made me stand?
    You n-never could o' g-g-guessed
    That b-b-b-boy shhhhakin' in the corner
    Had a destiny so grand – so grand
    Well vini vidi vici, now it's all at my command

    If ya never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
    Ya better take a look at me now
    If ya never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
    Ya better take a look at me now.

    [Dance Break]

    If I'd a believed you, miz draba
    I'd a never had the guts to take this job
    I'd a never made the heart of a french girl throb
    I'd be peelin' potatoes like an infantry slob

    Royal robes – with all the trappin's
    Loyal subjects – cheering clappin'
    Wise advisors
    And pals for life
    A responsible position
    A beautiful wife
    An appetite for havin' fun
    An' I ain't even twenty-one

    If you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
    Ya better take a look at me now
    Yes, if you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
    Ya better take a look at me now

    Too bad old bat
    With your bottom side a bulgin'
    An' yer top side flat
    Tough beans old bag
    You gibble gabble yak yak whistle stop nag

    [Dance Break]

    If you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
    Ya better take a look,
    Yes, ya better take a look
    Ya better take a look at me…now!

  • Title: The Night I Met St. Nick
  • Artist: Julia Wade
  • Composer: Peter Link
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    06:05
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    The Night I Met St. Nick
    Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    I was hiding ‘hind the sofa
    When he came down the chimney
    Cuz I did not believe
    He could ach-ally come down the chimney
    But he came down the chimney
    Just like they always said he would
    Uh hum yeah
    With a grunt and a whoosh ... and kerplop!

    It amazed me so, I forgot I was hiding
    So, I stood up in amazement at a fat man in a red suit
    With a scowl upon his face.
    “What in tarnation are you doing up now
    At this ungodly hour, young lady?”
    He said as he texted on his iPhone back up North to his elf

    “Well, Mr. Claus,” I replied, most polite,
    “I guess I just had to see for myself!”

    “Well now you’ve gone an’ done it!”
    As he pulled out his list.

    “Let’s see here uuuuuuhhhhh, you must be young Julie
    Is that right?”
    “Well, that’s right!” said I.
    “Well you’re now in big trouble, sure as pie”

    “I got a most busy schedule now you’re makin’ me late
    Right now I oughta be back in my sled instead
    So go ahead now ... an’ go back to bed!
    And doncha be peekin’ through the keyhole.”

    When I got up that morning — that Christmas morning—
    There was nothing in my stocking but a lump of coal
    Rats

    I woulda cried my eyes out, but remember, good people
    It was just a dream
    Just a dream ...
    It was just a dream about the night I met St. Nick

    I dunno if he was a saint, but he sure was cute!
    OK, don’t go away. There’s more to this story.

    Next Christmas Eve I was hidin’ again ‘hind the sofa
    As he whooshed down the chimney
    “I remember you,
    You’re that girl, you’re Julie,”
    That’s right, cutie pie.
    “You were trouble from the git go
    An’ now you’re back again, my friend.
    Uh hum yeah
    This ain’t right an’ it’s just got to stop”

    “Only this time ach-ally I’m kinda glad ta’ see ya’,
    I’m a little bit stuck here
    Got a flat tire on a reindeer
    An’ I’m plum done outta spares.”

    Who ever heard of such a thing like that?
    Well now remember, good people
    It was just a dream
    Just a dream …
    It was just a dream about another night I met St. Nick

    I never promised it would make much sense.

    So I grabbed him my ol’ trusty bicycle pump
    An’ we went swoosh up the chimney in a flash

    And there stood Dasher, Dancer, Prancer an’ the others
    I fixed that ol’ flat tire in the blink of a lash
    An’ old Saint Nick was off like a shot

    He’s shoutin’ “Merry Merry Christmas” across the sky
    “To all a Happy Happy New Year”
    He never looked back
    He never said thanks
    He just disappeared into the clouds

    Hold on, just wait a minute, Santa!
    Here I am stuck on the roof!
    An’ no way I’m goin’ back down that chimney
    It’s too darn dirty an’ I just don’t have it in me
    An’ besides you never even said thank you

    When I got up that morning — that Christmas morning —
    My stocking was filled to the brim and overflowing
    Presents in the kitchen
    Presents in the bath tub
    Presents in the attic and presents in the shed
    And even one more under the pillow in my bed.

    I coulda cried my eyes out
    At all the presents he left me
    But then again my friend
    It was just a dream
    It was just a dream about the night I met
    Or was it?
    Nah …
    It was just a dream about the night I met St. Nick

  • Title: Albert Einstein
  • Artist: Noah Marlowe
  • Lyricist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    04:40
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    Albert Einstein
    Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    Part of me wants to be just like Albert
    Just like Albert
    Albert Einstein
    If I only had the smarts
    If I only had the brain
    I'd think a million thoughts
    That would bollix the mind
    Change the way the future will remember mankind
    Leave Sir Isaac Newton and his apple far behind
    And drive my fellow physicists insane
    Oh part of me wants to be just like Albert
    Just like Albert
    Albert Einstein

    Yeah part of me wants to be just like Albert
    Wise old Albert
    Albert Einstein
    If I only had the gift
    Of a two hundred IQ
    I’d change a lot of things
    Yeah I’d know just what to do
    I could 3D print my body an’ keep it up on the shelf
    Take it down at night an’ have a talkin’ to myself
    I might even lose all track of who was who
    Yeah part of me wants to be just like Albert
    My pal Albert
    Albert Einstein
    Yeah, I’d be known as a young savant
    I’m not talkin’ no dilettante,
    But the sage of quantum physics
    Well I’d spend all my time
    Dreaming up ‘ventions of the mind
    Like zero calorie ice cream
    Bicycles that can fly
    Traveling on a light beam
    And dogs that wouldn’t die
    I’d open up a store on-line and call it
    Einstein’s Designs And Inventions Of The Mind
    And the world would line up at my door
    Roaring “More, more,
    We Want More!
    More of that Einsteinian soul
    Yeah, more of that Einsteinian soul!!”

    So part of me wants to be just like Albert
    Good ol’ Albert
    Albert Einstein
    If I only had the grasp
    If I only had the wit
    I’d stun the literati
    Thinking out of the box
    With my hair all out of whack and my two eccentric sox
    I would stand among the giants, Oh yeah, that rocks!
    And when it came to school, I’d quit!
    Oh part of me wants to be just like Albert
    Ooooo Albert
    Albert Einstein
    Oh Mr. Einstein
    Can I call ya’ Albert?
    We’ll be hangin’ out!
    Shootin’ pool!
    Workin’ equations!!
    Playin’ video games!!!
    Debatin’ the variances of string theory …
    Cool!
    Hey Albert, let’s take a break n’ go skinny dippin’
    He’s my pal …

    I wanna be just like Albert Einstein!


The Truth Be Told
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link


  • Title: For Kids Only
  • Artist: Peter Link
  • Duration:
    04:14
  • Sample:
  • Lyrics:

    For Kids Only
    Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

    [La La Chorus]

    We don't allow no cats
    We don't allow no dogs
    We don't allow no wombats
    It's just for kids only

    We don't allow no dentists
    We don't allow no cows
    We don't allow no physicists
    It's just for kids only

    You can be short
    You can be shy
    You can be black or white
    You can be square
    You can be cool
    Just as long as you are a kid
    You rule

    We don't allow no sharks
    We don't allow no snails
    We don't allow no aardvarks
    It's just for kids only

    We don't allow no rattlesnakes
    We don't allow no parents
    We don't allow no fruitcakes
    It's just for kids only

    You can be fat
    You can be tall
    You can be off the wall
    You can be rich
    You can be poor
    Just as long as you are a kid
    You're secure

    We don't allow no congressmen
    We don't allow no dweebs
    We don't allow no aliens
    It's just for kids only

    We don't allow no cop cars
    We don't allow no bugs
    We don't allow no movie stars
    It's just for kids only

    You can be wise
    You can be blind
    You can be any kind
    You can be blue
    You can be green
    Just as long as you are a kid
    You're supreme

    [La La Chorus]

    We don't allow rhinoceros
    They take up too much room
    Besides they're too darn odorous
    This night's for kids only
    Yes it's for kids only
    It's just for kids
    Only!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *