For the Birds
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee (x2)

This song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

This song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

There's a blue jay on my doorstep
Tryin' to steal the laces
Off my runnin' shoes
He's some kinda mad kleptomaniac
He can't help it cause it's in his genes
He don't read the magazines
So he don't know what kleptomania means

Clear of conscience,
But still guilty as sin.

So this song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

There's a hummingbird at my window
Lookin' at me while I write this song
And we're eyeball to eyeball

Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
Listenin' to his wings beat the rhythm of life
Hummingbird
Hmmmmmmmmm
Hummingbird
Hmmmmmmmmm
Hummingbird

Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee (x2)

Birds:

They don't know where they come from
Don't know where they're goin' to
Don't have time to wonder
Too busy flyin' at the moon
Too busy tryin' to prune
Too busy workin'
For the early mornin' worms
Singin'
Baby I'll be comin' home soon

So this song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

There's a woodpecker peckin'
On the side a' my house
Puttin' a hole where there ain't one
An' it ain't very nice
I already got me some mice
And they're fillin' my life with their holes

Just like the moles.

And oh what a mess
But I got to confess
That I tend to digress

Point being:

This song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

There's an eagle in my back yard
Wonderin' what became of america
He's got the whole world on his shoulders
Musta gone bald thinkin' about the A-bomb
Musta gone bald just tryin' ta' stay calm
He's still worryin' about Vietnam

Somebody oughta tell 'im.
The war's over.

And this song is for the birds
This song is for the birds

Each mornin' they sing a new symphony
It's a soaring cantata to the sky above
An' it's all about feathers an' makin' love

Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee

Tweedle ee deet 'n' dee dee
Deet
'N' dee dee
Deet

So this song is for the birds!

The Woman In Me
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

Julia
Lastly
Let me introduce you to
Yet another special friend
Somewhat off the wall
But nonetheless quite real

She's really rather shy
But coming to the fore
With an iron strength of will
Though quite genteel
And she's so sweet
Peter
So sweet
She's the woman in me
Both
She's a ballerina dancing in the dark
Julia
She hides behind the curtain
In her innocence and grace
And sings to me the songs of the skylark

Peter
I knew not
Julia
You knew not
Peter
Of the woman in me
As I wandered through the trials of my youth
She emerged from out the shadows
As I ripened in my years
Julia
Your boyhood years
Peter
And I slowly grew accustomed to the truth
I had a woman in me
Julia
And though I fell in love with the boy
The fine fellow and the man
There was this little something extra that emerged
And then I found in him a friend, a friend indeed
And yes I found in him, at times, a girlfriend when in need
And I found in him a woman's stability
Peter
And I found I had that woman in me

Somewhere between my noisy masculinity
Julia
And your quiet femininity
Peter
I searched to find the balance of life
Julia
Somewhere between the husband
Peter
And the wife
Julia
Aaah
Both
In the halting of the pendulum
Peter
I found the perfect equilibrium
The man I'd become
Julia
Your true individuality
Peter
The man I am
And yes, the woman in me

Both
The best part
Peter
Of the woman in me
Both
Is the essence of what every woman knows
It soothes the broken promise
As it calms the ruffled heart
It's the tenderness that melts the winter snows

Peter
Yeah, that's the woman in me
Julia
And though I spend my days with the boy
Peter
Aaaah
Julia
The fine fellow and the man
Sometimes I need a smidge of sister in my life
So I have found in him a friend, a friend indeed
Ah, that's me …
And yes I've found in him, at times, a girlfriend when in need
And I've found in him a woman's gentility

Peter
And I've found I have that woman in me

Julia
Hey Girlfriend, let's go get our nails done!
I love you, Mister Mom.
You clean the house, while I slave away in the office.
You dust the limoge, while I haul trash to the dump
You water the plants while I shovel the driveway
Just don't be tryin' on none of my dresses!

Goin' for a Ride
Music and Lyrics adapted by Peter Link

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride in my car car
Goin' for a ride in my car car
Goin' for a ride in my car car
Woncha come along with me

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride on my tractor
Goin' for a ride on my tractor
Goin' for a ride on my tractor
Woncha come along with me

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
Goin' for a ride in my jet plane
Woncha come along with me

"All aboooooaaaaard!" "chhhh,
Chhh, chhh, chhh, chhh, whooooo whoooo

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
Goin' for a ride in my choo choo
Woncha come along with me

"Hold on tight!"

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
Goin' for a ride on my magic carpet
Woncha come along with me

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
Goin' for a ride on my gold fish
Woncha come along with me

"Ok, everybody, follow us. Cause we're gonna take a ride on my hippopotamus! Galumpf, galumpf, galumpf, galumpf"

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
Goin' for a ride on my hippopotamus
Woncha come along with me

Ooohhh
Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
Goin' for a ride on this big ol' earth
Goin' for the ride of my life

I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More
Traditional, New Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

Oh you can't get to Heaven
On roller skates
'Cause you'll roll right by
Them pearly gates
Oh you can't get to Heaven
On roller skates
'Cause you'll roll right by
Them' pearly gates
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

No an' don't try goin' by rollerblades
Cuz ya' can't roll over dem barricades

Oh you can't get to Heaven
In a skin tight dress
Cuz the curves you got
Mean less and less
Oh you can't get to Heaven
In a skin tight dress
Cuz the curves you got
Mean' less and less
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a fancy suit
Cuz the Lord upstairs don't give a hoot

But I got a robe
You got a robe
All God's children got a robe
When I get to Heaven
Gonna put on my robe
I'm gonna shout all over God's Heaven

Heav'n heav'n
Ev'rybody talkin' 'bout Heav'n
Ain't goin' there
Heav'n, Heav'n
Gonna shout all over God's Heaven

Oh you can't get to Heaven
In yer ol' man's car
'Cause the dang ol' thang
Won't go that far
Oh you can't get to Heaven
In yer ol' man's car
'Cause the dang ol' thang
It won't' go that far
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

An' you can't get to Heaven in a limousine
'cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline

No' you can't get to Heaven with a lot of cash
Cuz it only goes right in the trash

An' you can't get to Heaven in a Cadillac
Cuz they'll laugh ya' down
And send you back

But I got shoes
You got a shoes
All God's children got shoes
When I get to Heaven
Gonna put on my shoes
I'm gonna walk all over God's Heaven

Heav'n Heav'n
Ev'rybody talkin' 'bout Heav'n
Ain't goin' there
Heav'n, Heav'n
Gonna shout all over God's Heaven

Oh you can't get to Heaven
With a mortal sin
Cuz the Lord don't 'low
No sneakin' in

Oh you can't get to Heaven
With a mortal sin
Cuz the Lord don't 'low
No sneakin' in
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

An' ya' cain't get to Heaven
If ya' never try
An' ya' only start
Jes' before ya' die

But if you get to Heaven
Before I do
Jus' bore a hole
An' pull me through

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more

That's right! Don't be givin' him no more grief!

I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't a-gonna grieve
My Lord!

Mrs. Draba
Music by Peter Link
Lyrics by Jacob Brackman

Hey look at me, Mrs. Draba
I'm the kid you used to call "Johnny Dumb"
You said I wasn't up to the curriculum
And I'd likely wind up as a pool hall bum

You can read about me now in the Millertown Gazette!

Hey look at me, Mrs. Draba
I'm the kid you said belonged behind a plow
But instead of doin' poorly I'm a-takin' a bow
And I surely wish that you could get
A load of me now.

Remember when I failed my multiplication?
Remember where you made me stand?
You n-never could o' g-g-guessed
That b-b-b-boy shhhhakin' in the corner
Had a destiny so grand – so grand
Well vini vidi vici, now it's all at my command

If ya never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
Ya better take a look at me now
If ya never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
Ya better take a look at me now.

[Dance Break]

If I'd a believed you, miz draba
I'd a never had the guts to take this job
I'd a never made the heart of a french girl throb
I'd be peelin' potatoes like an infantry slob

Royal robes – with all the trappin's
Loyal subjects – cheering clappin'
Wise advisors
And pals for life
A responsible position
A beautiful wife
An appetite for havin' fun
An' I ain't even twenty-one

If you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
Ya better take a look at me now
Yes, if you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
Ya better take a look at me now

Too bad old bat
With your bottom side a bulgin'
An' yer top side flat
Tough beans old bag
You gibble gabble yak yak whistle stop nag

[Dance Break]

If you never looked at me then Mrs. Draba
Ya better take a look,
Yes, ya better take a look
Ya better take a look at me…now!

The Night I Met St. Nick
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

I was hiding ‘hind the sofa
When he came down the chimney
Cuz I did not believe
He could ach-ally come down the chimney
But he came down the chimney
Just like they always said he would
Uh hum yeah
With a grunt and a whoosh ... and kerplop!

It amazed me so, I forgot I was hiding
So, I stood up in amazement at a fat man in a red suit
With a scowl upon his face.
“What in tarnation are you doing up now
At this ungodly hour, young lady?”
He said as he texted on his iPhone back up North to his elf

“Well, Mr. Claus,” I replied, most polite,
“I guess I just had to see for myself!”

“Well now you’ve gone an’ done it!”
As he pulled out his list.

“Let’s see here uuuuuuhhhhh, you must be young Julie
Is that right?”
“Well, that’s right!” said I.
“Well you’re now in big trouble, sure as pie”

“I got a most busy schedule now you’re makin’ me late
Right now I oughta be back in my sled instead
So go ahead now ... an’ go back to bed!
And doncha be peekin’ through the keyhole.”

When I got up that morning — that Christmas morning—
There was nothing in my stocking but a lump of coal
Rats

I woulda cried my eyes out, but remember, good people
It was just a dream
Just a dream ...
It was just a dream about the night I met St. Nick

I dunno if he was a saint, but he sure was cute!
OK, don’t go away. There’s more to this story.

Next Christmas Eve I was hidin’ again ‘hind the sofa
As he whooshed down the chimney
“I remember you,
You’re that girl, you’re Julie,”
That’s right, cutie pie.
“You were trouble from the git go
An’ now you’re back again, my friend.
Uh hum yeah
This ain’t right an’ it’s just got to stop”

“Only this time ach-ally I’m kinda glad ta’ see ya’,
I’m a little bit stuck here
Got a flat tire on a reindeer
An’ I’m plum done outta spares.”

Who ever heard of such a thing like that?
Well now remember, good people
It was just a dream
Just a dream …
It was just a dream about another night I met St. Nick

I never promised it would make much sense.

So I grabbed him my ol’ trusty bicycle pump
An’ we went swoosh up the chimney in a flash

And there stood Dasher, Dancer, Prancer an’ the others
I fixed that ol’ flat tire in the blink of a lash
An’ old Saint Nick was off like a shot

He’s shoutin’ “Merry Merry Christmas” across the sky
“To all a Happy Happy New Year”
He never looked back
He never said thanks
He just disappeared into the clouds

Hold on, just wait a minute, Santa!
Here I am stuck on the roof!
An’ no way I’m goin’ back down that chimney
It’s too darn dirty an’ I just don’t have it in me
An’ besides you never even said thank you

When I got up that morning — that Christmas morning —
My stocking was filled to the brim and overflowing
Presents in the kitchen
Presents in the bath tub
Presents in the attic and presents in the shed
And even one more under the pillow in my bed.

I coulda cried my eyes out
At all the presents he left me
But then again my friend
It was just a dream
It was just a dream about the night I met
Or was it?
Nah …
It was just a dream about the night I met St. Nick

Albert Einstein
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

Part of me wants to be just like Albert
Just like Albert
Albert Einstein
If I only had the smarts
If I only had the brain
I'd think a million thoughts
That would bollix the mind
Change the way the future will remember mankind
Leave Sir Isaac Newton and his apple far behind
And drive my fellow physicists insane
Oh part of me wants to be just like Albert
Just like Albert
Albert Einstein

Yeah part of me wants to be just like Albert
Wise old Albert
Albert Einstein
If I only had the gift
Of a two hundred IQ
I’d change a lot of things
Yeah I’d know just what to do
I could 3D print my body an’ keep it up on the shelf
Take it down at night an’ have a talkin’ to myself
I might even lose all track of who was who
Yeah part of me wants to be just like Albert
My pal Albert
Albert Einstein
Yeah, I’d be known as a young savant
I’m not talkin’ no dilettante,
But the sage of quantum physics
Well I’d spend all my time
Dreaming up ‘ventions of the mind
Like zero calorie ice cream
Bicycles that can fly
Traveling on a light beam
And dogs that wouldn’t die
I’d open up a store on-line and call it
Einstein’s Designs And Inventions Of The Mind
And the world would line up at my door
Roaring “More, more,
We Want More!
More of that Einsteinian soul
Yeah, more of that Einsteinian soul!!”

So part of me wants to be just like Albert
Good ol’ Albert
Albert Einstein
If I only had the grasp
If I only had the wit
I’d stun the literati
Thinking out of the box
With my hair all out of whack and my two eccentric sox
I would stand among the giants, Oh yeah, that rocks!
And when it came to school, I’d quit!
Oh part of me wants to be just like Albert
Ooooo Albert
Albert Einstein
Oh Mr. Einstein
Can I call ya’ Albert?
We’ll be hangin’ out!
Shootin’ pool!
Workin’ equations!!
Playin’ video games!!!
Debatin’ the variances of string theory …
Cool!
Hey Albert, let’s take a break n’ go skinny dippin’
He’s my pal …

I wanna be just like Albert Einstein!

For Kids Only
Music and Lyrics by Peter Link

[La La Chorus]

We don't allow no cats
We don't allow no dogs
We don't allow no wombats
It's just for kids only

We don't allow no dentists
We don't allow no cows
We don't allow no physicists
It's just for kids only

You can be short
You can be shy
You can be black or white
You can be square
You can be cool
Just as long as you are a kid
You rule

We don't allow no sharks
We don't allow no snails
We don't allow no aardvarks
It's just for kids only

We don't allow no rattlesnakes
We don't allow no parents
We don't allow no fruitcakes
It's just for kids only

You can be fat
You can be tall
You can be off the wall
You can be rich
You can be poor
Just as long as you are a kid
You're secure

We don't allow no congressmen
We don't allow no dweebs
We don't allow no aliens
It's just for kids only

We don't allow no cop cars
We don't allow no bugs
We don't allow no movie stars
It's just for kids only

You can be wise
You can be blind
You can be any kind
You can be blue
You can be green
Just as long as you are a kid
You're supreme

[La La Chorus]

We don't allow rhinoceros
They take up too much room
Besides they're too darn odorous
This night's for kids only
Yes it's for kids only
It's just for kids
Only!!!