Scattershot Symphony Podcast
Series 3
Rosemary And Thyme Episode #2 – Revelation
Episode #2 – Revelation
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Rosemary And Thyme
Episode #2 – Revelation
Scene 1
Lizzie (feigned innocence)
Missed what?
Thyme
Well, you know, my period.
(The music U/S comes back)
Lizzie
You sure you ain’t been foolin’ around?
Thyme
Well not hardly. I’m engaged to be married!!
Lizzie
Well, you could be just practicin’ for your weddin’ night.
Thyme
Lizzie! Josiah expects a virgin and sure ‘nough, he’s gonna git one.
Lizzie
Yeah, but you ain’t even gonna know what to do on that weddin’ night. Cuz, Honey Buns, you are so …
Naive…
[Music Out]
Thyme
Well I’m sure Josiah’s plannin’ on showin’ me a thing or two. I ain’t gonna worry ‘bout it. I don’t expect much and he don’t seem to much care. (after all, he is a minister), and he don’t seem to be so interested in the sexual part of things anyway.
Lizzie
Well he is a man! Don’t underestimate that thing between his legs. Once that gets goin’, look out!
Thyme
I can’t believe we’re havin’ this conversation!
[Music]
Lizzie (one liner)
Well, girl, you better prepare yourself. Life’s gonna git pretty dern different … if he ever gits around to settin’ that date.
You Don’t ‘Spec Me To Believe That – Reprise 1
Lizzie (sings)
(Sigh)
Naive
Lordy ol’ girl you’re so naive
Jus’ what in the world do you think I am
Dumb as Hell?
Thyme (one liner)
Oh, I wouldn’t go that far …
Lizzie
You think jus’ because he’s a minister
He ain’t int’rested
Oh, honey Buns, he’s int’rested!
Jus’ you wait till he can get you
Under them sheets?
You’ll find an entirely different minister then!
You think he’s jus’ as innocent as you are? Hmm …
Open your eyes to the real world
Cuz Baby it’s comin’ soon
Now you don’t ’spec me to believe that
This man isn’t a man
Do you?
Do you?
Thyme (one liner)
Well, I donno. I donno …
Scene 2a
Gabriel (one liner)
An’ now I take you to a chance meetin’ between the two squabblers right on Main Street, Skedee, in front of Jake’s Hardware, right out in public.
Lizzie
Hey Preacher Man, wha’sup?
Josiah
The sky, Miss Wonderbottom, the sky!
Lizzie (at first, insulted, but then being the town flirt …)
Wonderbottom!? It’s Cranbottom to you, Sir. Oh, oh, I see … Mista Joe, you tellin’ me you like it?
Josiah (a shade embarrassed)
Now Lizzie, I was just playin with you. Nothin’ serious.
Lizzie
Yeah, you an’ all the other boys in town.
Josiah
C’mon Lizzie. Apologies offered.
Lizzie
You know, Josiah, sometimes I’m havin’ a hard time tryin’ to figure you out. Sometimes Josiah the Pious an’ other times just one of the good ol’ boys. You got a lot of sides to ya’.
Josiah
Perhaps I do, Lizzie, perhaps I do …
Lizzie
Well there ain’t no perhaps in the fact that you owe it to your betrothed to get it in gear an’ set a date! What’s goin’ on with you anyway? What you waitin’ for?
Josiah
Miss Cranbottom, that ain’t no business of yours. I’ll git to it, when I git to it.
Lizzie
Well you better “git to it” pretty soon, cuz time’s a’wastin’ an’ that’s one Pretty-Young-Thing girlfriend you got there … if’n you know what I mean.
Josiah (taken aback)
Uuuuh … You know somethin’ that I don’t know?
Lizzie
I know lotsa things that you don’t know. We girlfriends. Better be careful, ya’ hear? Time may just be … runnin’ … out!
Josiah
Huh?
Lizzie
When I was a little girl, my mama used to read me ta’ sleep each night from the wisdom of Dr. Seuss. My favorite went like this:
“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late … so soon?” You know what, Josiah?
What If Time Has Come And Gone
[Music]
(She sings)
Time will pass
That’s for sure
An’ jus’ where does that leave you
Outta time
Think about it, Josiah. Think about it.
Never put off till tomorrow
What you can do today
Cuz time is like a River
Ever on its way
No sooner is it here
An’ then it’s gone
You have no time
To take your time
Cuz time stops for no one
Just as it’s begun
It comes undone
A strange phenomenon, this time
Do ya’ wanna gamble your life upon time
Time is a’wastin’
An’ it marches on
So what if time has come an’ gone
Mister preacher man
What if time has come an’ gone
What would you do then?
Scene 2b
Josiah (stunned)
Huh?
Lizzie
Mr. Ben Franklin said, “Lost time is never found again. You may delay, but time will not.” An’ somebody else I once heard said, “There are no secrets that time does not reveal.” So, yeah, I know lotsa things that you don’t know. Better be careful, Mr. Josiah Washburn.
Gabriel (one liner)
An’ the plot thickens …
Scene 3
(Thyme, on the phone)
Thyme
(in a slight panic)
Well now, I missed my period again. I’m tellin’ you Lizzie, third time’s a charm, but this ain’t so charmin’. I’d like to know what’s goin’ on here. You think this means I am barren? What kinda wife will I be if my reproductive organs are on the fritz? Oh Lordy me! I never … I jus’ got to hang up now cuz … No, I’m sorry, Lizzie, but I think I better go an’ have a talk with God.
(She hangs up.)
Scene 4
(Talk with God music. We also hear the wind of the Oklahoma Plain.)
Thyme
God? God? God! Here I am. It’s Thyme.
God (voice over)
Time for what?
Thyme (finally getting the joke)
Oh right. Always the comedian.
God
I try.
Thyme
This time I gotta be serious.
God
I thought we decided that was not necessary.
Thyme
Well, this time it is necessary. I missed my period.
God
I know.
Thyme
Three times! Three months!!
God
I know.
Thyme
How can this be? I’ve never been with a man.
God
I know.
Thyme
Stop saying that! How could you let this happen?
God
Time will tell.
Thyme
What? Time will tell? What’s that mean? Is that some sort of joke? Are you playing with me?
God
You’ll have to speak to my assistant.
Thyme
What? What assistant?
God
I’ll send you a message.
Thyme
I don’t understand.
God
Take my word for it.
Thyme
An’ why should I?
God
Because I’m God and my word is the word of God.
Thyme
I don’t get it.
God
I’ll send my messenger.
Thyme
Your messenger?
God
An angel. I’ll send an angel.
Thyme
Why?
God
Well, that’s just the way I’ve always done it.
Thyme
This makes no sense at all.
God
I know. Be patient, Thyme. All will work out.
Thyme
But …
(God begins to fade away)
Thyme
W … Wwa … Wait … don’t go … (Sigh). There ya’ go again …
(But He does. Blackout)
Thyme (one liner)
Lizzie!
Scene 5a
So What Do I Do Now?
Thyme
I’ve tried and tried to figure this whole thing out
An’ I got no help from nobody!
An’ so I went to the Lord, with a lot of faith
An’ I admit, a morsel or two of doubt
I mean like He was the only one left!
I talked to him, He talked to me
I asked him, “Lord, how could this be?
I’ve never known a man.”
He say, “Thyme, I understand.
Don’t worry none.
Jus’ know this one thing an’ know it well
Time will tell.”
Jus’ what I needed. Another one a’ His esoteric answers …
[3 Bar Interlude]
Now what pray tell is that ‘sposed to mean?
Sometimes I jus’ can’t / figure the ol’ guy out.
An’ so I come to you with little faith
A little faith an’ a big ol’ bunch a doubt
You must think I’m a little bit dizzy, Lizzie
But Baby I don’t got no clue what to do
I gotta admit I’m jus’ stumped!
You might say I’m just in a tizzy, Lizzie
But I got no one to turn to, but you
So what do I do now?
What do ya’ do when things go wrong
An’ the Lord don’t seem to listen?
Lizzie
I ‘spose you wait.
Thyme
Oh, c’mon, really?
Lizzie
Don’t the Bible say, “Wait upon the Lord?”
Maybe He’s jus’ busy with somebody else’s troubles
Shore up your faith, girl
He’ll get ‘round to it
Don’t you always tell me He always does?
Yeah, I ‘spose you wait
You jus’ “Wait upon the Lord.”
So whaddya do when things go wrong, Girl
You wait!
Scene 5b
Thyme
I wait.
Lizzie
You got the right idea. Let the Lord point you the way. So now, what’s God’s assistant look like?
Thyme
Well, an angel, of course.
Lizzie
You mean them things with wings?
Thyme
That’s what I asked him. He said, “Naw, that’s just a rumor. They don’t need wings to fly.” My goodness, Lizzie, I get to meet an angel?
Lizzie
Lordy be, Thyme. What you been smokin’?
Thyme
Doncha see? God’s gonna send me a messenger!!
Lizzie
Thyme, baby … you need to just calm down here, an’ get your feet back on the planet.
Thyme
No Lizzie, it’s true! That’s what He told me. It’s the word a’ God! I heard it. He gave me the word!
Lizzie
(In total disbelief)
An’ what word is that?
Thyme
Why, … I don’t know. I … I just have to be patient an’ wait for it, I guess …
Lizzie (sarcastic)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you just let me know now when that word is revealed.
Thyme (totally genuine)
Lizzie, God’s got plans for me. What could possibly go wrong? You’ll be the first to know. That’s a promise. Oh nooo … I jus’ realized. Now I gotta go an’ tell Josiah ‘bout this. Oh Lordy, What am I gonna tell him?
Scene 6
Gabriel
Well, so she went on over to the church carryin’ nothin’ but dread in her bones … but he wasn’t there. So she headed on over to the junkyard ta’ see if he was hangin’ with his pal, Gabe. But he wasn’t there either an’ Gabe, our infamous night watchman, since it was night, was sound asleep there on the back of an ol’ rusted out pickup truck.
(Now we hear the Junkyard music theme.)
Gabe
So, there I was, sound asleep, thinkin’ it was the middle of the day, sleepin’ off a bender. Unfortunately, I had the evidence of my debaucherie layin’ all around me — two empty wine bottles, a sixpack a’ Schlitz empty an’ forgotten, an’ a half empty bottle a’ Jack Daniels close to ma’ pillow an’ within reach. (Ya’ see, I got to appear authentic to folks, playin’ this here human bein’.) As I recall, I was in the midst of dreamin’ a most fascinatin’ dream involvin’ some fairies and a watermelon when Thyme came on the scene lookin’ fer Josiah regardin’ somethin’ most urgent.
Scene 7a
Thyme
(Excited, but sensitive to his sleeping)
Gabe … Gabe … Wake up. Good lord, Gabe! Is this where you sleep at night? On top a’ all these whiskey bottles? An’ ain’t ya’ ‘spose ta’ be watchin’? An’ doncha got no light ‘round here? Everything is jus’ as black as pitch. No wonder half the town’s scared ta’ death ta’ come down here. I thought you were the night watchman here. (Real loud now) Ya’ ain’t doin’ much watchin’ — drunk an’ sound asleep! (He stirs) Gabe! I’m sorry, Gabe. Sorry to wake you, but I been lookin’ everywhere for Josiah. You seen him? Gabe wake up!
Gabe (very groggy)
Can’t you see I’m on a bender, woman? I can’t talk to you now. Go away.
Thyme
Gabe, I just need to know if you seen Josiah.
Gabe (still very groggy)
What you need him for?
Thyme
I just gotta tell him somethin’ … somethin’ so amazing!
Gabe
Naw, he ain’t been around. Check over to the church.
Thyme
I already did. He ain’t there. I gotta find him. I’ve been given the word of God!
Gabe (groggy still)
What?
Thyme
I’ve been given the word of God!
Gabe (groggy even still)
Naw, that ain’t supposed to happen ‘til tomorrow.
Thyme
What?
Gabe
Lemme go back to sleep. Please … (begins to pass out) Uuuuuuhhhh…
Thyme
What ain’t supposed happen till tomorrow? Gabe! Gabe!!
Gabe
(mumbling)
I gotta give you the message.
Thyme
What message? What are you talkin’ about? Gabe, wake up. Gabe! How do you know about a message? Gabe!
(She shakes him to no avail, but then picks up a half filled whiskey bottle and pours it over his head.)
(She continues)
OK. here ya’ go … a little hair a’ the dog …
(This seems to do the trick.)
Gabe
What? What the hell … Ooohh, did ja hafta do that? (sits up) Ya’ spilled that good whiskey all over the place. It ain’t time, Thyme! God said to wait ‘til tomorrow.
Thyme
What? How do you know about this? You been talkin’ to Lizzie, ain’t ya’? That rat! You been talkin’ to Lizzie! Gabe!
Gabe (serious now)
No I ain’t, Thyme. An’ my name’s not Gabe, well, it’s Gabe for short, but my real name is … Gabriel. An’ I’m an angel.
Thyme
Yeah, Gabe. An’ I’m Lady Gaga. Now who told you ’bout my messenger?
Gabe
I am your messenger, Child. An’ you are jumpin’ the gun. You’re gonna get me in big trouble with the man upstairs.
Thyme
Gabe, I don’t know how you expect me to believe …
Gabe (interrupting)
Thyme, I may not look it, but I am Gabriel, an’ if you want me to get out my trumpet and play you a few bars, I will. BUT NOT UNTIL TOMORROW! (lying back down) What time is it anyway?
Thyme
(looks at her watch)
Well Mister so called Gabriel, it’s uh … I can barely see ma’ watch, it’s so dern dark, uh … it’s three minutes to midnight. So tomorrow is just three minutes from now!
Gabe
Oh lord, woman, then wake me in three minutes.
Thyme
Actually, I always keep my watch five minutes fast, so it’s already tomorrow! Now where’s the messenger?
Gabe
Oh all right … Lord a’ mercy! Hrrrumff
Here goes!
(Now Gabe seems to transform and become different — taking on a sense of nobility, a somewhat different character — subtle at first, but then, definite.)
Scene 7b
[Music]
I Am The Messenger
Gabriel
I am the messenger.
I am Gabriel, and stand in the presence of God;
And I am sent to speak unto thee,
I am sent to speak unto thee, Thyme
And to show you these glad tidings
Sent by the Lord for I am the messenger
For I am the Messenger
Praise the Lord! An’ you Thyme, you Thyme
And you, my child, highly favored,
Highly favored!
The Lord is with thee:
God be takin’ a shine to ya’, child~
Blessed art thou among women.
Thyme
What?
Gabriel
Fear not, Thyme: for thou hast found great favor with God.
Behold, you shall bring forth a son.
A son, think of it, a son!
And he shall be called the Son of the Highest:
The child of God!
His kingdom shall never end
His kingdom shall never end
You are the propagation of the lord!
And you, Thyme
Your new life’s just begun
Yes, I am the messenger …
Yes, I am the messenger
Scene 7c
Gabe
And so … you see …? Now do you believe? Thyme? Thyme! Well, jus’ don’t stand there, girl. Say somethin’!
(He softens.)
Thyme? … Hey, you all right? Thyme … look at me, child. Thyme?
Gabriel
She jus’ stood there all humped over like a little ol’ lady … she never once said a word … jus’ starin’ inta the palm a’ her hand … with a terror in her eyes that I can’t even begin ta’ describe. I reached out ta’ her ta’ maybe take her by the shoulders ta’ help her sit down, but she twisted away from me like a trapped wild animal an’ a sound come pourin’ outta her like I’ll never forget.
Thyme
Mmmmmmeeeeoooooaaah …
Gabriel
Then, still starin’ inta the palm a’ her hand, she brought the hand to her mouth an’ pressed it to her lips an’ I could see right there that she wasn’t starin’ inta her hand, but starin’ on past it deep inta some other world. She became a stone. Comatose like…
Gabe
Oh Thyme, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I gone too far. I don’t mean ta’ scare ya. I fergit how sensitive you are. C’mon now. Let me take ya’ home.
Gabriel
Somehow I got her home. It weren’t easy. She never took her hand from her mouth. She never spoke another word … the whole night … she jus’ sat there on that kitchen chair a’ hers … lost out in space somewhere. It came ta’ me she was jus’ like her mama. An’ I thought, Oh my God, what have I done?
But the next mornin’, as I watched over her, she suddenly stood up straight an’ announced, “I’ll be goin’ now. Gotta get ta’ work. Ain’t no reason for ya’ ta’ be here now Gabe, go on home now an’ get some sleep.” With that, she walked out the back door, got in her car an’ drove off to the grocery store.
Introducing our 16-Episode Podcast Musical
Rosemary And Thyme is a project 2 years in the making that now launches its second Episode, Revelation. This is the second of 16 Episodes that will be released every week from now until Christmas 2022. Join us! Take the Journey. Continue with Revelation.
The Cast of Episode 2
Episode 2 – Revelation
Explore the Playlist
View lyrics from the song playlist. Thanks for listening!
You Don’t ‘Spec Me To Believe That – Reprise 1
Performed by Judy McLane
Music by Peter Link
Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Lyrics
Lizzie (sings)
(Sigh)
Naive
Lordy ol’ girl you’re so naive
Jus’ what in the world do you think I am
Dumb as Hell?
Thyme (one liner)
Oh, I wouldn’t go that far …
Lizzie
You think jus’ because he’s a minister
He ain’t int’rested
Oh, honey Buns, he’s int’rested!
Jus’ you wait till he can get you
Under them sheets?
You’ll find an entirely different minister then!
You think he’s jus’ as innocent as you are? Hmm …
Open your eyes to the real world
Cuz Baby it’s comin’ soon
Now you don’t ’spec me to believe that
This man isn’t a man
Do you?
Do you?
What If Time Has Come And Gone
Performed by Judy McLane
Music by Peter Link
Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Lyrics
Time will pass
That’s for sure
An’ jus’ where does that leave you
Outta time
Think about it, Josiah. Think about it.
Never put off till tomorrow
What you can do today
Cuz time is like a River
Ever on its way
No sooner is it here
An’ then it’s gone
You have no time
To take your time
Cuz time stops for no one
Just as it’s begun
It comes undone
A strange phenomenon, this time
Do ya’ wanna gamble your life upon time
Time is a’wastin’
An’ it marches on
So what if time has come an’ gone
Mister preacher man
What if time has come an’ gone
What would you do then?
So What Do I Do Now?
Performed by Julia Wade and Judy McLane
Music by Peter Link
Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Lyrics
Thyme
I’ve tried and tried to figure this whole thing out
An’ I got no help from nobody!
An’ so I went to the Lord, with a lot of faith
An’ I admit, a morsel or two of doubt
I mean like He was the only one left!
I talked to him, He talked to me
I asked him, “Lord, how could this be?
I’ve never known a man.”
He say, “Thyme, I understand.
Don’t worry none.
Jus’ know this one thing an’ know it well
Time will tell.”
Jus’ what I needed. Another one a’ His esoteric answers …
[Interlude]
Now what pray tell is that ‘sposed to mean?
Sometimes I jus’ can’t / figure the ol’ guy out.
An’ so I come to you with little faith
A little faith an’ a big ol’ bunch a doubt
You must think I’m a little bit dizzy, Lizzie
But Baby I don’t got no clue what to do
I gotta admit I’m jus’ stumped!
You might say I’m just in a tizzy, Lizzie
But I got no one to turn to, but you
So what do I do now?
What do ya’ do when things go wrong
An’ the Lord don’t seem to listen?
Lizzie
I ‘spose you wait.
Thyme
Oh, c’mon, really?
Lizzie
Don’t the Bible say, “Wait upon the Lord?”
Maybe He’s jus’ busy with somebody else’s troubles
Shore up your faith, girl
He’ll get ‘round to it
Don’t you always tell me He always does?
Yeah, I ‘spose you wait
You jus’ “Wait upon the Lord.”
So whaddya do when things go wrong, Girl
You wait!
I Am The Messenger
Performed by Peter Link
Music by Peter Link
Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Lyrics
Gabriel
I am the messenger.
I am Gabriel, and stand in the presence of God;
And I am sent to speak unto thee,
I am sent to speak unto thee, Thyme
And to show you these glad tidings
Sent by the Lord for I am the messenger
For I am the Messenger
Praise the Lord! An’ you Thyme, you Thyme
And you, my child, highly favored,
Highly favored!
The Lord is with thee:
God be takin’ a shine to ya’, child~
Blessed art thou among women.
Thyme
What?
Gabriel
Fear not, Thyme: for thou hast found great favor with God.
Behold, you shall bring forth a son.
A son, think of it, a son!
And he shall be called the Son of the Highest:
The child of God!
His kingdom shall never end
His kingdom shall never end
You are the propagation of the lord!
And you, Thyme
Your new life’s just begun
Yes, I am the messenger …
Yes, I am the messenger
Let the Credits Roll!
Click to View Rosemary And Thyme Credits
Credit Roll
Book and Lyrics by Peter Link and Ragan Courtney
Music by Peter Link
Director and Dramaturg – Ron Stetson
The Cast
(In Order of Appearance)
Thyme – Julia Wade
God – Michael Tucker
Josiah Washburn – Steve Blanchard
Lizzie Cranbottom – Judy McLane
Gabriel – Peter Link
Gabe – Peter Link
Mama – Terry Burrell
Bishop Emanuel Goodspeed – Patrick Ryan Sullivan
Dikke Matumbeh – Melvin Abston
Dr. Alfredo Encarnacion – Martin Sola
Maj. Zwei Xiang – Michelle Liu Coughlin
Abigail – Carolee Goodgold
Dorothy – Emily Bindiger
Martha – Jan Horvath
Rufus – Patrick Jude
Trucker – Wayne Duvall
Morgan Abernathy – Wayne Duvall
Jose – Robert Montano
Maria – Natalie Toro
Elvira – Jenny Burton
Ramon Rodriguez – Don Scardino
Slick Presley – Peter Link
Production Staff
Watchfire Music
Julia Wade – President, Peter Link, CEO & Creative Director
Associate Producer – Amanda Weitman
Associate Producer – Barbara Keller
Associate Producer – Dustin Link
Associate Producer – Stuart Barefoot
Theatrical Attorney – Christopher Smith
Mastered by Philip Klum Mastering, NYC
Dialogue Recording Engineer – Tim Leitner
Marketing – Jass Bianchi and Color In Sound
Casting – Steve Blanchard
Cast Schedule Coordination – Jenny Burton
Assistant to Jenny Burton – Hanna Rowe
Driver – Patrick Jude
Recording Studios
Link Studios, Summit, NJ
Strange Weather, Brooklyn, NY
The Recording Den, Bethany, CT
John Kilgore Sound, NYC, NY
Assistant Engineer – Nate Brailer
Technical Assistant To Peter Link – Nathan Burgdorff
Sound Effects Design & Implementation – Peter Link
Sound Effects Research and Capture – Jenny Burton
Pro Sound Effects
The Hollywood Edge – The Premiere Edition
Pixabay.com
Design
Graphics & Videography – Skye Malone
Logo Design – Renee Gannon
Listen to The Theater Of The Imagination Podcast Series here:
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I thoroughly enjoyed Episode 2!
I’m just sorry that I have to wait ALL the way to next Saturday to hear Episode 3.
Oh well, something neat to look forward to!
I’ve enjoyed both episodes 1/ 2 and and anxiously await all future Podcast.
Thank you Carol1 Enjoy!
I’m kinda glad I waited to listen to these. Now I can listen to them all at once and don’t have to wait! Wonderful!!